


Orphaned

by dancethemagicdance



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Loki: Agent of Asgard, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-04-28 13:31:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5092586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancethemagicdance/pseuds/dancethemagicdance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An interesting AU where Loki and Tony correspond to one another in letters. Paths cross, lies are told and uncovered and some schooling is paid for by...love in return?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Perfectly Awful Day

“Loki!” Loooookiiii!”

The shrill yell of a child’s voice rang out and Loki sprang out of bed and quickliy running out of his room. Making his way down a hall of many doors, he knew the exact door to open, and who was calling out. Pushing through the doo, he entered the small room with two bunk beds.

“If you don’t shut up, I’ll shut him up!” Tommy Dylan, one of the “troubled” kids grumbled as he rolled around in bed.

“Come on! Not again…” Another of them mumbled.

“Hey, quiet.” Loki scolded in a hushed tone and sat on the edge of Charlie’s bed. “Hey buddy...hey, look you can’t yell out like that...I’ve told you.”

Reaching over to adjust the boys blanket, the child seemed to calm down from his scare. The todlers lip quivered and Loki’s brow rose.

“I...I had the dream again.”

“Ah,” Loki began. “Well, I thought we agreed that it’s a nightmare, not a dream.”

Charlie shook his head meagerly. “Then, then I had my nightmare again.”

“Okay, well was it the same this time?”

“Uh huh…”

“Okay, you’re just imagine-”                        “Just imaging, with your fear trying to-”

“Hey! Keep quiet.” Loki stood up, annoyed that the boys were mimicking him. “You don’t want to wake Mrs. Rippit now do you?”

This, seemed to shut the boys up and with a sigh, Loki returned to Charlie’s bedside. He stroked the little boy’s hair and he smiled.  “You’ll be okay Charlie. I promise.”

“But, but what if they buy me and, and I don’t like them?”

Loki let out a soft laugh. “They don’t _buy_ you Charlie. They...they choose you.” With a tilt of his head he sighed. “Whoever is lucky enough to adopt you, are going to be the luckiest parents on the earth.”

Biting his lip, and clutching the tattered Teddy bear he always carted around, Charlie seemed to accept Loki’s words.

“Okay.” He whispered.

“Now please, go back to sleep, tomorrow is very important.”

Slowly but surely the little boy closed his eyes and his breathing evened to a slow and steady sleeping pace. Befpre parting, Loki made sure the boys blanket covered him decently.

“Goodnight.” 

The teen could remembered when he’d given the boy the blanket. It was one he’d had for years, it had the least amount of holes, thicker material to keep one warm. After about a week of the childs stay here, Loki began to frequently make these trips to this room. So, eventually Loki offered the kid his blanket, as a sort of safety shield. It helped, though every now and then the boy will call out for Loki if the nightmare scares him enough.

Pushing off the bed, he looked around at the other four beds in the room, making sure that the boys were asleep. “Goodnight to you all as well.”

He mumbled and then made his way to the door. Shutting it behind him he sighed.

“And good luck…”

Standing where he was in the dark shadowy hall, he could see that the big grandfather clock at the end was about to chime four in the morning. No point in going back to bed now, there were things to be done. Making his way begrudgingly down the hallway, Loki began his ritual task every first Monday of the month.

 

* * *

 

 

After three hours to himself, and of course cleaning supplies, he was finally joined by the ever so gracious and lovely Mrs. Rippit.

“Loki I’m going to be in my office all day, until the supporters come. You’ll have to oversee the adoption fair. Keep the parents happy, show them all the young ones, don’t let them get out of hand. Keep the girls and boys presentable.”

The woman went on and on, all while Loki was dusting around the dining room table. Ironic they’d have one, when none of them were ever allowed to eat there. If her eyes weren’t on him, he’d have rolled his eyes at least twice by now. She might as well just be saying.

_"Yes, Loki, take care of ninety-seven orphans, clean the whole place, prepare food and make sure the whole adoption fair takes place. No big deal, right?"_

The teen went to open his mouth to accept his new task, while she paused, however she continued before closing her office door.

“And Loki…. don’t try this year, okay? You’re eighteen, it’s time to give it up, leave the families alone."

Then, with that, the latch of her door office solidified her feelingson the subject. She detached herself from him years ago, now he was nothing more than, well what she was _supposed_ to be.

 

 

 _What a perfectly awful day_ , he thought.

 

However, there wasn’t much he could do about it, he was just the oldest orphan in the old Elizabeth Noel home for orphans.

 

* * *

 

 

Finally, it was all done. Loki cleaned every inch of the home, prepared more food than they had for dinner each week, and groomed ninety-seven orphans. Having spared at least five minutes, Loki had time to run to his room and put on a decent shirt and his one tie. Having left a thirteen old year old in charge, he hurried back to the drawing room, though it was never used for more than a show floor for the kids when adults came around. Loki returned and patted Mathews head.

“Thank you, Matthew...and, good luck today.” 

The teen gave Loki a sad smile and nodded. “It hasn’t happened yet, no way today’s the day.” 

“Never say never.” Loki shrugged as he scooped up one of the youngsters and planted her on his hip.

“Now boys and girls, if I’m not in the room, Matthew is in charge, you all know this. Today is a very important day not only for adoptions, but for Mrs. Rippit as well. She’s got very important people coming to meet her today, so lets all please, please be on our best behavior.”

He delivered his speech and before he could get any reaction, the doorbell rang and the buzz of young ones began, while some of the older ones just continued with what they were doing. Before heading to the door, Loki scanned the room full of art supplies and toys - only out for today, and wondered how many of them would be overlooked for a babbling baby. Taking in a deep breath, Loki opened the door. Giving a big smile, Loki allowed them to step in, offered them the refreshments and then directed them to the drawing room full of kids. He watched as a good chunk went off but a handful stood with him.

“You must be here for Mrs. Rippit, right this way…” He nodded, and pointed ahead of him, bowing his head. Better to not make eye contact with the heads that provide the money to keep this place as...well as good as it can be.

After the last pair of dress shoes scuffled past him, he finally fell into the wall behind him and took a deep breath. Involuntarily his hands fell onto his thighs and he took in deep breaths. Exhausted didn’t even begin to describe his state. Closing his eyes, he finally let himself rest for the first time since four am.

“Excuse us…"

Loki’s eyes widened as he heard the voice. Shit. He was caught being unprofessional. Straightening himself up he took in a deep breath, and looked at the couple in front of him.

“H, Hello.” He pushed his hand through his hair. “Hello, I'm Loki, I'm in charge of the event, if you’re here for the adoption fair, it’s right through these doors. We’ve got wonderful young ones, as young as five weeks.”

“Oh, why thank you.” The wife, Loki presumed, gave a pleasant smile, then exchanged a look with her husband. “But, well...as you can see, we’re fairly aged and we were hoping for perhaps a teenager, or near that age? What, was your name dear, Loki?” She smiled and stuck out her hand. “I’m Peggy Rogers...this is Cap-” She giggled. “Excuse me, he was in the army, but this is Steve.”

The tall, brooding gentleman with what Loki could still picture was blond hair, stuck his hand out.

Loki shook both of their hands. “Nice to meet you two…” He wanted to continue that he had the perfect child for them, but Steve spoke.

“Just how old are you boy? You may be exactly what we’re lookin-”

“Loki!”

Matthew instantly appeared next to Loki, pulling on his pant leg. He waved up at him, to come closer, not noticing the couple in front of them. Bending for the boy to reach his ear, Loki listened to him whisper that a couple was asking questions he couldn’t answer. Loki laughed, nervously.

“Of course Matthew, thank you for holding down the fort for me.” Placing his hand on the boy's shoulder he turned his head to address the couple. With a smile, Loki nodded. “These are the Rogers; they’ve come for a much more…” Loki turned his head back to Matthew. “mature, child. Why don’t you introduce yourself, get to know them?” He winked and stood back up before the boy could protest. Loki smiled politely and stepped into the other room.

 

* * *

 

 

Loki’s cheek muscles hurt by the time he crashed on the small sofa in the drawing room. Between helping the families fill out papers, making sure not only the families and children were fed, he had to make sure the business folk in the office were well looked after, not to mention begin to prepare dinner. His body was far past exhausted, he didn’t even care he crunched crayons and paper under him in becoming one with the couch material. His body could only take so much with such little sleep. Sighing, Loki looked around as he noticed the last few families spending time with kids. He noted that another family looking for older children were deliberating in the far corner. Biting on his lip, Loki stood from the sofa despite his body’s protest. This was his moment; this was his ticket out. Almost halfway to the couple and the second youngest to Matthew, Tommy Dylan had come charging into the room.

“Loki! Loooooooki!” He yelled.

Acting quickly, as to not upset the parents around them, he placed his hand over the boy’s mouth.

“What, what is Tommy?”

“You are wanted in the office, and you better hurry up!” The boy sang.

“Who wants me now?” Loki sighed, knowing the boy took pride in giving the news of being summoned to the office. Most likely for reprimand.

“Mrs. Rippit said, immediately!” Tommy giggled. “And I think she’s really mad.”

Sighing, Loki nodded. “Thank you Tommy, now go off to get clean for dinner.”

Returning to his standing form, Loki helped the last few couples fill out papers, and then usher the rest of the kids back to their rooms until dinner. Then, off he went, thoughts racing in his head. Were the shelves not clean enough? Were the sandwiches not thin enough? Did one of the ladies notice the run in Suzie Hawthorne's tights? There was no way Mrs. Rippit would’ve seen Loki’s attempt at being adopted, would she? What could have possibly neglected this time? Having made a run through the kitchen first, Loki exited down the hall, near Mrs. Rippit’s office. A shadow around the corner caught his eye. It was of one of the last trustees, he could tell by the outline, he was definitely wearing a lavish coat. However, due the light spilling in the form the doorway, Loki couldn’t help but chuckle at the elongated, almost spider like silhouette. Holding his hand over his mouth the boy turned to the office doors. The smile quickly faded and he knocked and pushed the door open.

“Mrs. Rippit? You, you wanted to talk?”  

“Hm, yes. Have a seat please.” The woman was obviously worn from a daylong meeting but she was still just a pleasant as usual.

 

“Look I’m sorry if I did anything wron-”              “You’re being adopted.”

 

“Excuse me, I’m what?”

“Okay, not so much as adopted as…” She shook her head with a sigh. “Being provided for.” She shrugged. “One of our trustees decided to pick the eldest orphan, which so happens to be you, and pay for their education, living expenses, ect...”

Loki wasn’t sure if this was some sick joke or if she was being honest. “Mrs….Mrs. Rippit. I-”

“You’ll be leaving tomorrow morning and your schooling will start next month.”

“I...I-”

“You’ll go to your room tonight and pack, I’ll take care of dinner, we’ll have something special. One...for having the most successful adoption day since...well you were dropped off, and of course, you departing us.”

“T, thank you Mrs. Rippit, thank you so much.” He extended his arm over the table, the only thing he could think of to show his appreciation.

Only, she laid a letter in his open hand. “Don’t thank me Mr. Laufeyson, thank Mr. Smith. Everything is in the envelope he left. Now, go on, get out of here.”

With a quick nod, Loki left the office, letter in hand. He didn’t make it to the stairs before he stopped and pressed his back into a wall and slowly sank to the floor. Clutching the envelope to his chest the boy felt tears roll down his cheek and he smiled, truly.

This perfectly awful day, was no more.


	2. Who Is This Man?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gets his shot but is it really what he wants? And who is this Mr. Smith?

Rising the next morning, Loki couldn’t help but have a smile on his lips. Instead of the usual mornings, where they started at five or four am, he was able to sleep in, and wake with the ability to breath. To breath and not feel the weight of a thousand responsibilities he would normally have. Sitting up, the boy looked over the room he’d been allowed to have all to himself, the small perk of being the oldest. His eyes fell over the top of the small nightstand that had his envelope resting. The rules were that he wasn’t to open it until he was finally in his new place. A car would be coming for him at noon. Out of excitement, Loki had packed all of his things that night. He didn’t have much, just a bag full of clothes, books, pictures. So, now he had nothing to do but wait. Having breakfast served to him, made him feel like he was young all over again. The boy didn’t have a memory outside of this place. Someone, his mother, his father, he didn’t have a clue as to who, dropped him off one day when he was a child. He’d been here ever since, and he had thought he would move up to take place of Mrs. Rippit.

 

The teen ate lunch early, figuring it’d be better to eat before they came to pick him up. He was almost finished when he heard the padding of little feet.

 

“Loki, are you done yet?”

 

Jenny McCloud ran up and tugged on his arm.

 

Loki chuckled and pulled the little girl into his lap. “Yes, I am, but I’ve seemed to have left some food on my plate. Would you like it?”

 

Jenny gave Loki a look and then nodded. “Yes please.”

 

Giving the child the fork he smiled, and nodded. “Dig in.”

 

Leaving her in his chair, Loki moved himself away from the table. He had been doing nothing and still had nothing to do, he instinctively grabbed for the sponge by the sink and began to wipe the counter.

 

Jenny spoke up. “Hey, you’re not supposed to do anything today. You’re supposed to go to in the other room. They’re waiting for you.”

 

Setting down the sponge, Loki shrugged. “Jenny they aren’t coming to get me till noon.”

 

“No, not them, the kids.” The little girl spoke as if it was obvious.

 

Loki’s brow rose, what did they have planned…? Hopping down from the chair, Jenny went behind Loki and began to push him by the legs. “J...Jenny, what are you?”

 

“Go, into….” She giggled. “the other room.”

 

Stumbling into the salon, Loki was greeted by the remaining kids. It still shocked him to think they’d gone from ninety-seven, to sixty-seven in just one day. He smiled at all of them, then looked to Jenny.

 

“What is this?”

 

“We...we wanted to say goodbye.” Tommy spoke up, looking as if he might cry any minute.

 

In fact, looking around the room, he could tell all of his children were looking like they might about cry. Upon seeing this of course Loki began to tear up. He knelt down, and smiled wearily, a tear slipping from his eye.

 

“You...you-” But Loki’s voice couldn’t make a noise, without whimpering.

 

Then, in a quick moment the kids in the room gathered around him and hugged him and one another. This caused Loki to choke up even more. As exciting as it was to leave this dump, become his own man, it also hurt amazingly that he, nor anyone near his age would be taking care of these kids. The next eldest child was twelve and to think he’d have to even deal with half the things Loki managed around here made him cringe. That was no childhood... yet what did he have to compare it to really? Suddenly, he heard an adult voice and someone clear their throat. Looking up, through clouded eyes Loki could see Mrs. Rippit. She had a sullen face, and maybe it was just his own foggy sight but he was sure he saw the smallest bit of water pooling in her eyes. Was she really sad that he was going, or did she realize that she’d now have to take on his chores?

 

“Um, Loki...sweetheart?”

 

Nodding his head, Loki sighed. Finally, he found his voice to speak. As he wiped at his eyes he spoke softly to the kids. “...you heard, I’ve got to go.”

 

Saying anything else would have set off another round of tears and Loki had to show these kids that it was okay to move on, cry a little, but with their lives, people would come and go. That's life, that’s just the way things were for an orphan. As the kids let go of their hugs, he slowly rose. He sniffed his nose a bit, then pecked the top of the taller kids heads.

 

“I love you all so much. I’ll tell everyone I meet about you all. There will be waiting line for the waiting line to adopt all of you.” He joked and bit his inner cheek before continuing. “I’ll come back, I’ll see you guys when I can, okay?” He nodded slowly and began to walk toward the front hall, where Rippit was waiting for him. She was holding his bag and she smiled when he reached to take it.

 

“Wait! Wait!”

 

Loki heard a panicked voice running down the stairs. Turning to see who it was, Loki spotted Tommy running down the stairs holding a blanket. He made it to Loki’s feet and shoved the blanket towards his face.

 

“You almost forgot!”

 

Loki chuckled. “This...this is Charlie’s blanket. What, what are you giving it to me for?”

 

“Well… he, he left, so you’ve got to take it back. You were the one who gave it to him, right?”   

 

Smiling, Loki nodded and then kneeled down to the boy. Loki pushed Tommys arms so that the blanket was near him. “And now it’s yours.”

 

His eyes shining bright, the boy looked into the teens eyes and nodded. “O...okay.” He glanced down at the floor. “Thank you.”

 

Loki smiled yet again, pecking the child’s head he stood once more. “You’re more than welcome Tommy.”

 

Finally standing and looking at the driver, Loki gave him a half smile. He was ready. The driver walked to the door, opened it for Loki and he stepped out and followed the diver to the car. Waving to the window of kids, Loki gave a smile until they were out of site. That’s when more tears began to stream down his face. Keeping his bag in his lap, Loki began to look out the windows. A sort of panic rose in him as he realized that he was no longer stuck in the orphanage. He was in the real world, and he was on his own and that scared him greatly.

 

“Loki...that’s an interesting name. How’d you come about that?”

 

The teen pulled his attention away from the window to look at the driver, who was asking him. And he just shrugged. “I’m not sure, that’s just what they called me, no questions asked.”

 

Noticing that he had asked the wrong question, the driver just gave a polite smile. “Well, Mr….Smith, has picked a good kid I see, you’ll love all he’s got set up for you.”

 

Loki nodded and looked out the window once more, watching the city he’d lived in his whole life, for the first time. “Can you...can you tell me a little bit about him? About, you know, Mr. Smith?”

 

He noted that the driver’s brow furrow and, figured it was his turn to ask the wrong question.

 

“He...he prefers to stay anonymous.”

 

“Oh…”

 

Loki’s eyes down casted. So he’d never meet this man? When he was told he was adopted, he figured he’d be introduced to a family. Or at least, one face. After those few words, the car ride was silent. Keeping his eyes out the window, Loki took in everything. Every street they drove by, what street they were on, what buildings they had passed and what were up ahead. He found himself nervously chewing on his lip. Only thirty minutes later, the car pulled up to a long building. An apartment, Loki had to assume.

 

“Here you are kid.”

 

“Uh, thank you…”

 

“Jarvis.” He smiled.

 

“Thank you Jarvis, and if you get the chance...tell Mr. Smith I’d thank him in person if he’d let me.”

 

The driver nodded and began to get ready to drive off, only to stop and call out the window.

 

“Oh, Mr. Layfusion…”

 

He turned his head to look at the idle car.

 

“Don’t forget to read the envelope once you’re settled in.” He nodded. “Good day.” Then, pulled away from the curb and was gone.

 

Taking in a deep breath, Loki glanced up the entire building, then began to walk up the stairs and in the front doors. An hour later, Loki was sitting at the kitchen table. _His_ kitchen table. In _his_ apartment. On the table was the envelope. With a bite of his lip, he lifted it off the table and stuck his thumb under the triangle. Pushing the paper till it ripped he pulled out the papers inside. With a deep breath he unfolded all them, and began reading. Of all the papers, the first one was a written letter.

 

_Dear to whom it may concern,_

_Welcome, to your new home. I am more than happy to lend my charity towards you. Apologies that I don’t know your name, but that will be dealt with later. As for today, enjoy the shock of your new life. Tomorrow take a deep breath and let my assistant help you. You will shop for the day. Do not worry about spending too much, but don’t spend too little. It wouldn’t please me more to know that you’ve got decent clothing and food. I’ve given you this apartment and soon your schooling will start. My assistant will get your books and things for you and provide you with dates._

_Best regards, Mr. Smith._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying this. I swear Tony will come in soon, please, please be paitent? Anyways, I hope you fall in love with this, just like I have writting it.


	3. He Will Know Me In Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki begins to settle into his everyday life now that he's got everything paid for and laid out at his feet. Will he enjoy it? Or feel lonely?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE. You're all so wonderful and give such great feedback, I just decided I'd post TWO chapters in ONE week. Behave this well and we'll have Tony added to the mix in no time. In the mean time, enjoy the sweet agony of waiting patiently.

“Pepper Potts, Mr….Smith’s, assistant, wonderful to meet you.”

A woman in a body contoured dress and heels stood in the doorway as Loki pulled his shoes on. She was intimidating to say the least. With a briefcase in her right hand and a blackberry in the other.

“Uh, yeah...yeah.” He mumbled then stood to meet her face to face. Holding out his hand he smiled and continued. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Loki…. though you probably knew that.”

She gave them a curt nod and half smile. “The cars waiting outside, let us go.”

Following like a lost puppy, Loki headed out the front door with her. She seemed very in control of well...everything. She had a very confident air about her. Just by watching her Loki wanted to shrink in fear but on the other hand wanted also wanted to _be_ her. The car that was waiting out front was just like the car that had picked him up the day before. Upon entering, he smiled, Jarvis was in the front seat.

“Hello, Mr. Loki.”

“Hi Jarvis…” He mumbled.

Pepper climbed in after Loki and the only thing she said to Jarvis was their destination point. They were headed to a bunch of stores today. The idea that he was getting new clothes, new...everything, was amazingly wild to him. How could one man decide that he would just spend all his money on a random orphaned boy? Chewing his lip nervously, he sat waiting for the car to come to a stop, keeping his hands in his lap and keeping quiet. After several awkward and silent minutes, they pulled up to a window display and they climb out of the car. The boy took in the fact that they were not only in front of just one store, but the whole street was lined with many other stores. Pepper turned to him as the car pulled off.

“Mr. S...” She paused and cleared her throat, checking her blackberry. “Mr. _Smith_...has given me a list of all the things we’ll be getting for you this afternoon.”

“Really, there is no need to-”

“Honey, the quicker you learn to just accept these gifts from Mr. ...Smith, the easier life will become.” She tossed back her hair with a smile. “Trust me, as his assistant it took quite a while to adjust to his very...expensive taste in gifts. The more you debate it the more expensive and crazy the gift he’ll give next. I promise you.”  

Loki pursed his lips and sighed. “Okay, I guess.”

The life of the rich and famous was like outer space to Loki. Watching Pepper simply glide through the store, grabbing garments and tossing them to the worker to hold and then sliding her credit card through the machine was absolutely crazy. How could she just, pick and choose...without even glancing at the price of something? She didn’t even flinch when the person behind the counter told them the price, she simply (and almost reflex like) swiped her card and continued on. Loki had heard the term “shop till you drop” - something he thought was always just a joke, who would ever do that? But when him and Pepper finally sat down at an outdoor cafe, did Loki finally get those words. He wanted to take the longest nap, his legs burned and he was just exhausted. Oh, and hungry, which is why they stopped, lunch.

But, who knew even ordering food as a rich person was so different? The menu in places were almost written in code and Loki couldn’t for the life of him decide what exactly they meant, or in this case even were. Glancing up at Pepper for guidance, or any sign of help, he was pleased to see her telling the waiter exactly what to bring them. Sighing, Loki set the menu down, only to watch the waiter take it from him.

“Sorry…” He mumbled, as he had to move his arms out of the way.

The waiter didn’t seem to mind, but Loki still felt like an outsider. Even doing something as mundane as going to a  _restaurant_ was challenging for him. Glancing back to Pepper he noticed her plunged into her phone. It was interesting to see another woman, besides Mrs.Rippit working. If, you could call what Mrs. Rippit did work in the first place. He watched her, over the course of the day, her “don’t touch me” demeanor had rubbed off by this time and Loki could feel semi comfortable with her.  After their food had been set in front of the two, he shrugged.

“So…I know; I know you’re Mr. Smith’s assistant, but do you know anything about him?”

Pepper had taken a few bites and as she raised her fork to her lips, her brow furrowed. She gave a slight sigh with a shrug of her shoulders. “Mr. Smith, isn’t one to care so much about that sort of thing. He enjoys staying anonymous, gives him peace of mind that he can help someone. You’ll correspond to him with a letter each month telling him how you are and about your studies when you begin school. His terms state that he’s not obligated to respond, but he will keep paying bills.”

Chewing his lip, Loki accepted this answer, because honestly he didn’t want to pry anymore, nor did he really know how he felt about that. Having someone spending so much money and effort on him and not even getting to know the tiniest of detail? He just focused at the food on his plate, accepting the fact they should eat in silence.

"So, what is one of your favorite places?"

"Places?" Loki held his hand over his mouth, having just taken a bite. 

"To go to? To you know, shop, eat, spend time maybe...relax?"

Having finished chewing, he swallowed and shrugged. "Mrs. Potts, orphans don't really get out much." 

"Oh." 

This was probably the first time he got a chance to see through her professional mask demeanor.

"It's okay...."

"That's simply crazy." She shook her head. "You've lived in this city your whole life, yet you never once got to go around to see the wonderful place?"

Loki shook his head. "All I've ever known is the orphanage."  

Hours later, Loki was again alone in his apartment. Loki tossed himself back onto his bed. When he had come back from shopping, his apartment had gotten completely decorated and furnished. His bed had been made, he had a sofa and chairs, the kitchen was fully stocked and now his closet was bursting with new clothes. Biting at his lip and pondering things, his eyes scanned over the envelope he first got. Pepper’s words rang through his ears.

_“…he’s not obligated to respond…”_

 


	4. The First Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's first letter is sent out into the world to the one and only, wealthy Mr. Smith. But is his letter even opened?

_Dear Mr. Smith,_

_This is weird._

_Sorry._

_But to be honest, it’s a whole other world. I_ _’ve gone from nothing to, according to you, everything and anything I want. It’s bizarre, like I’ve gone to sleep and I’m still dreaming._ _T_ _oo bad I cannot meet you, I’d enjoy someone pinching me so I can wake up. Not that I’m not appreciative of all this, really, I’m more than humble. It’s just wild._ _To watch Pepper simply glide through a store and pick up whatever catches her eye, and not even glancing at the price tag. Going from hand me downs that don’t fit, to personally tailored garments. I can’t even begin to put things into words._

_I’ve been living here for about two weeks now. It was pretty lonely at first, I mean, I’m used to a house full of ninety some kids and now it’s just, me. It’s quiet. I enjoy it, but I also find myself missing the laughs of some of the kids._

_~~Maybe a pet~~ I’ve gotten a chance to meet those in the other apartments. A really sweet couple lives next door. They have ten children,  ten **. ** They took me in like their eleventh, invited me over for dinner. I asked them if any of them were adopted, and that I had the perfect kids to choose from. They said they had just sent their last to college and were wanting a break. Then, there was this pretty girl, she lives right across from me. She seems to have a lot of friends, male friends. They come and go every night. She must be very friendly. All I'm sure of is that she is very pretty. I wonder if she is a model. What do you think? Maybe I’ll take her over dinner on a night her friends don’t show. _ _There are also a handful of people in the building that are going to school as well. It’s nice to meet them._

_Pepper, your assistant, told me that you would be providing me money to go to school as well. I thank you for providing me with the opportunity. I’ve never gone to school. The only things I’ve ever learned were from books that were donated to the orphanage. ~~Only the ones Mrs. Rippit~~ I taught myself to read, write. You probably don’t need to know this, gosh, I’m going on and on. You probably don’t want to know, based off what people have told me of you, you’re… distant. That’s okay, I’m used to it. Being an orphan, there is a point you reach when parents come and go, while the kids around you are adopted. You sort of go into autopilot. You see things happening, yet you don't fully process anything. In some peoples eyes, being an orphan...it’s like...like not living, its…existing,  taking up space. An inconvenience.  ~~I'll tell you one thing if people had the slightest idea of the things I had to do at that~~  _

_There I go, again, making this all about me. I know that you’ve enforced the whole “I’m not responding” thing, but I am very interested to know you. You’re the only one whose given me any chance in life. You’re like...my father. Or, a father figure. I imagine you’re older, much older. Perhaps I’ll call you daddy, Smith. You won't mind right? I won’t tell anyone, it’ll be between us. I don't know much else about you, I mean I saw your shadow as you left the orphanage. You look like a tall man. Are you?  And if it wasn't obvious, you're very wealthy. I’m truly interested in more about you. You must be used to being called father, right? I imagine you having many kids, a darling wife. Perhaps you have a cane? I hope you don't mind me asking, or at least letting my imagination wonder. I mean, you’re the man that has given me a bright future, that means something, right? Well, I’m not sure where else to take this, so I’ll end my ravings here. _

_Again, I don’t think I can say thank you enough._

_Thank you._

_Best regards,_

_Loki Laufeyson_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter is short I guess? I mean, I want to give you guys as much as I can, but because of the format, the next few will be letters from Loki to To- I mean...Mr.Smith. ;)  
> Okay, but honesty hour: Your guys support, comments, kudos and bookmarks are pushing me to post more content and more frequently. So keep it up! It seriously brightens my day and makes me smile. Just like, I hope that these new posts do for you all. I know the wait is killing you, but I PROMISE. It will be well worth the wait.


	5. Things Unkown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki begins his first week of classes and doesn't feel too confident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are lucky that I myself want Tony in the story, so I'm a good author and giving you what you all want.

_Dear Mr. Daddy Smith,_

_I suppose you're waiting patiently to hear about my studies. School is crazy. I’ve never witnessed a thing like this. I mean how could I? I feel like I am in a foreign world. But I can’t help but feel like exploring all of the things I don’t know._

_Whoa, people are amazing. All the students are so smart and so open and wonderful. They are so nice and helpful. I had some troubles finding my classes, way around campus but the few friends I have made, were all very helpful._

_Some grabbed lunch with me and explained how some classes were, how professors graded. Where and when all the parties are. Though, don’t worry, I’m not the party type. ~~Tell me, did you ever got to a college~~  Never had time to do it and honestly I’ve never even been to a party. How on earth would I even know what to do besides fumble with my hands? ~~I don’t even know if I like alcohol~~._

_I’ll have to make more friends, there are so many different people around here. A lot of the girls here are very sweet, and kind to me. They like to give me tours of the place, ask about my schedule. One asked for my number, but I didn't have one to give. ~~It was a little embarrassing, do you think you could provide~~  All the boys that I've made friends with all ask me to play sports with them, or tell me what parties I should attend. A popular question they ask is how many "honeys" I've slept with. Daddy, do you know what they mean by that? Why would I sleep with honey? I can have five different friends all having ten different ideas and views._

_I was never one to let the orphans lie or think that lying was a moral thing to do. However, when the kids here asked me about my parents, I told them they had died, for I found myself not able to explain just how I’d made it to college. ~~I mean you don't expect me to explain to these kids that you~~  Something so normal and practical for others here. Gosh, to be like the others here..._

_It’s complicated, but it’s all still simply wonderful. I’ve got so many classes as well. I’m taking math, science, history, English, oh and I’m even learning French! J’ai parle français ! That means I speak french daddy, if you didn't know. Though, I imagine you do... Anyways! How exciting is that? Gosh, I didn’t even know there were all these things to observe, to know, to learn._

_In math, were going over geometry, measuring cones, cylinders, all sorts of shapes. Oh! And in my science classes were learning all about the human body. I really hope you don’t drink,alcohol, it does awful things to your liver._

_Anyways, it’s very late as I write this._ _Though I was so excited to write to you, I made sure I got all of my schoolwork done. Tomorrow is the weekend and my friend Sally promised to take me shopping! It makes me feel bad to write such a short letter this month, but I must end this here because I will simply fall asleep in the middle of my sentence if I don’t sleep soon._

Loki’s hand paused as he let go of a long, breathy yawn. His days ended early now, with all of his classes and going to and from was exhausting. As he wrote, his hand slowed and his eyes began to close. Yawning once more, Loki cleared his throat and tried to continue to write. However, as he began to write the words didn’t make sense and he could barely read the words. The male rubbed his eyes after dropping his pencil and left his desk after scribbling quickly.

_Goodnight._

_Yours,_

_Loki Laufeyson. (not affiliated with the Elizabeth Noel home)_

 

____

_Dear Daddy,_

_I was wrong. I know I had said that my letter was short, but after the first two weeks I found myself drowning in stupidity. I had to send you another._

_...did you know that Michelangelo was an artist in the middle ages? I thought he was an archangel. Doesn’t he sound like one? Then someone mentioned Florence Nightingale and I thought they were referring to a freshman. ~~That joke is still making it's way arou~~_

_I’m afraid I must tell you that I don’t think I fit in here. My mind is an abyss of ignorance. There are so many things I didn’t know. So many things the other kids know simply by absorption from family and friends and elementary school, that I’ve never even heard of. I’m so many years behind._

_Did you know, man came from monkeys? I didn’t know that Henry the eighth was married more than once, or Shelly was a poet. I didn’t know that the garden of Eden was all just a beautiful myth. I’ve never read, Great Expectations, Summer on the Lake._

_I always feel like Alice in wonder then stranded in vanity fair. I feel like the idiot, or the toilers of the sea, all the world is verse to me._

_I’d love to entail more of my school work but I’m afraid I’m simply too exhausted to continue, I must sleep. But I’ll think of you. ~~Maybe I'll think of your eyes, what color they are.~~  I know there is still much more catching up to do daddy. Please do not be disappointed in me. I'd hate to disappoint you.  ~~I'd really hate to think you'd stop paying for my~~  I will learn all there is. It'll be okay, I promise. _

_Well, goodnight._

__

_Yours,_

_Loki Laufeyson_

Folding the paper back into its original shape the male set the letter on his desk. Sighing he glanced at the fine stationary and pens he had on the corner of the work space. Quickly grabbing a piece of paper and pen.

“You’re going to miss your meeting come on. You can’t miss another appointment, I refuse to reschedule!”

Hearing the nagging voice, his pen froze, hovered over the paper. Softly pursing his lips and stroking the facial hair on his jawline, the philanthropist dropped the pen in a jar and crinkled the paper into a ball and sent it into the wastebasket. Pushing out of his office chair, the brunette buttoned one button on his suit jacket and made his way out of the study.

“ _I'm coming_...I’m...coming. **** _ **”**_


	6. Correspondence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to heat up...

_Do you even care?_

_I’d like to say I’m out of line but there really isn’t any justification for yourself._

_Do you care about how I feel?_

_About how my life is? About any of these letters I’m sending? Answering any of my questions?_

_Obviously you don’t read these because I assumed you’d send your servants to help me, or maybe hire some fancy tutor to help me out._

_God, how can you not care to get to know me? You must wonder what I look like, what I sound like? I’d tell you what my eye color was but what does it matter? Do you dare to toss all of…this away?_

_Yes, you’re paying my way through school, paying my bills, hell I’m in so much debt to you that I will never have enough jobs to pay you back but that’s got to mean something to you! God, I can’t believe I was okay with you not responding in the first place. That’s so sketchy and I can’t even begin to fathom my rage at you ignoring me. _ _Jesus, how could I have fallen for such an agreement as this?_

_You promise me my own heaven and yet you put me through hell? I’m not sure why I’m even wasting my time writing this because I’m pretty certain you don’t even care to read these. I could be sending blank letters to you each month and they probably fall right into your trash can. God!_

_How could I have actually believed you cared?_

 

* * *

 

Releasing a sigh from his lips, the male set down a letter on his desk. The child was so humorous. Not that he wanted to poke fun at the boys ignorance, but some of his questions made him chuckle. Not to mention the fact he believed he was an old man.  Of course, he figured that the kid would have troubles adjusting to the first week of school. However, he’d have to make sure Pepper checked on his grades to make sure that he wasn’t using all his money to pay for the kid to fail. It was hard to not reach out, to reassure the kid that there was no need to worry about anything. Of course, he’d been pushing himself to write back, but it seemed every time he’d begin, he’d fumble his words, and or give up who he really was.

“If you don’t attend this meeting today, you will be fired. And you’re the president. Think about it.”

Pepper stood at entrance to his study, where, he read most of Loki’s letters. Swallowing hard, he bit at his inner cheek and nodded slowly.

“Yes, I understand, thank you Pepper. I’ll be there.”

“That’s all I ask.” The woman began to push away from the door frame.

“Ah, wait…” The billionaire called. “Please do me a favor….” Grabbing a scrap paper from the desk he quickly scribbled down information. “Send a bouquet to this address, sigh the card Mr.S, nothing more.”

“Of course sir.”

Stepping into the room, Pepper took the note, stuck onto her clipboard and promptly headed out of the room. He waited until he heard the last faint sound of her heel before he grabbed at a pen and paper.

 

* * *

 

_Dear Daddy,_

_I really, truly hope you haven’t opened my letters because I couldn’t be more apologetic in my whole life than I am now. About as soon as I had let the stupid letter before this go off into the mail, someone came to me with a delivery. A beautiful bouquet of flowers signed, Mr. S._

_Why, as soon they were in my hands I hugged them tightly and began to cry. In fact, I cried all night long because I knew. I knew that I was wrong about you! I couldn’t be happier to have been wrong. You have read my letters, you do care._

_I’m a burden and I apologize. You must have a life outside of me. You have your own kids, your family and no doubt a big business of some sort. I am just a small pawn on your big chess board. I can’t say sorry enough to make up for the letter I sent. Please forgive what I say. I was hurt, I was wounded daddy. And we both know I’m no good at being bad. I believed you didn’t care._

_For a moment I thought I had just imagined you, Daddy. But know I know, I know how you work. Look, you don’t have to answer my letters, as long as you just forget all that I said and accused you of last week. You are real, you’re a person. I pledge with all my heart; I will make a success. Oh cause Daddy, I’d be unhappy being less. I want so much, to impress._

_Yours always,_

_Loki_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep getting questions and comments and so on and so forth, even though I thought I'd made it clear?
> 
> This is in fact similar to Daddy Long Legs, THE MUSICAL. NOT the movie. I hated it and it sucks. I was inspired by the songs to write Tony and Loki into it and change things here and there. Some of the letters contain the lyrics. In no way am I claiming that it's "my idea".
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and continue. I can't express my gratitude for your support. 
> 
> Thanks.


	7. When Shall We Meet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprised visit...

Rolling up the sleeves on his shirt, the philanthropist reached out for his pen, glancing down at the blank paper in front of him.

 

_Dear Mr. Laufeyson,_

_I put pen to paper with some, trepidation. But with the feeling after your last letter that I really feel that I owe you some sort of response._

_I want to write you back, but I don’t know what to say._

_How can I explain that I’m not really…old? I’m not at all the man you’ve imagined. In fact, I’m not the man at all you would expect._

_But Loki, would you object?_

_Of course I break my own rules of engagement, which forbid any communication from me to you, but only last month I was guilty of sending you a bouquet of flowers, so perhaps the damage is already done._

_It’s getting very hard to obtain from a response, from a man who loves to correspond. For I long to interject my observations. I’m bursting with opinions and advice._

_But Loki, would they suffice?_

_I shall come visit the college one of these afternoons, introduce myself properly. But I must warn you, I’m not good at friendship, I’m not good at attachment, or family, or commitment, I rather despise my relations. You’re acquainted already with Natasha, who I blame for my low expectations._

 

 

Pulling his hand away from the paper the male began to chew pensively on his lower lip. Perhaps it was too early to revel himself. Then, in a spark of inspiration, his pen began to move again. Why not meet her first as uncle, “Daddy” for now will remain discrete.

 

_Oh Loki, how shall we meet?_

 

Having finished writing, he quickly crumbled the paper in his hand and tossed it into the wastebasket.

“Pepper, quick!”

 

_____

_Dear Daddy,_

 

_He reminds me of you. In much younger days, of course. Softly eccentric, and set in his ways._

_He reminds me of you. It’s funny, cause really how can he remind me of someone that I’ve never met?_

_I must have mentioned earlier that me and Natasha, my roommate, were going to spend the day together when her uncle came to town. He promised us both that all expenses were on him, crazy right? Gosh, I had such a good time. We went shopping all day!_

_Ps: I wish you and I could be friends, wouldn’t that be a lovely surprise? Cause, ps: how sweet to be writing to you, if I knew the color of your eyes?_

_We went for tea, at an outdoor café. Oh! And his eyes are both blue by the way. We talked and we talked, oh you should have been there. Then he went on about Millview and Whitman – I’m floating on air! And ps: I blushed when he offered his arm and we walked under fair weather skies. Oh how I wished you’d been with us too, and I knew the color of your eyes._

_He made it seem like I’d known him from long ago, laughed at my jokes, though they seemed scarcely laughable. I’m feeling more like a man, and less of a child. Suddenly, I am all grown up._

_Oh, what a man, I’ll never forget. But really the only man, I’ve ever met._

_Then he took a town car, and I heaved a sigh, and Natasha got angry cause he left without even saying goodbye._

_Ps: it’s late and I can’t get to sleep, so I lay out my soul on the line._

_What do I care if there is blue in his eyes, if some day, you’re looking into mine? One day, Daddy, you’ll be looking into mine…_

 

_Yours,_

_Loki_

 

* * *

 

 

“You look just fine; you’re going to be just fine. Calm down…sir, please.”

The brunette was on edge. He was fidgeting with everything imaginable. Running his hand through his hair, he let out a sigh.

“I know; I know…I’m just really nervous Pepper.”

“Coming from the man that gives press conferences?” She teased and approached him, putting her hands on his tie and beginning to straighten it and tighten it. “Look, everything will go smoothly. You’ve got Natasha’s word, she won’t say anything and you can meet this kid. Get to know them, then leave right after.” 

“You’re right, I can do this. He won’t suspect a thing.”

An hour or so later, the male sat in the town car, driven by Jarvis, who like Pepper was trying to do their best in calming their boss down. Yet, there was no calming him down. He’d be on edge the entire time he was there. When the car came to a stop he took in a deep breath and stepped out. Glancing up at the tall buildings of the campus, he quickly located the dormitory that Natasha and Loki shared. They were top of the line, due to his own money. Apartment like, two rooms sharing one kitchen and living room. As the man who single-handedly paid for the building, he was allowed to inspect each room. He knew just which one the two were in.

Knocking on the door the male bounced on his heels and waited anxiously. To his surprise, a boy opened the door. Both smiled to each other.

“You must be Natasha’s roommate…she’s in, yes?”

The boy nodded. “Yeah, she was just getting out of the shower. Said she wanted to look nice for today.” He smiled. “I’m Loki…please, come on in.”

Stepping into the apartment, he extended his hand. “Lovely to meet you, I’m not sure if Natasha told you, I’m here uncle…uncle Anthony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to post, oops.


	8. My Manhattan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How easy will it be to be both Daddy and...Anthony? What does Loki think and feel about all of this?

_Dear Daddy,_

_How goes your day and is your hair sporting silver, or grey? I imagine you’re a man of at least eighty-three. You’ve still not responded, but that is alright. It’s fun to keep guessing._

_Oh! And his eyes are both blue by the way. I can’t believe how taken I am with Anthony. He’s so wonderful daddy. You know, I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day and I think I’ve been smiling so much, I’ve grown a dimple. I’ve never had it there before. The way Natasha always spoke of her uncle was so harsh, I figured I’d be meeting a man that was uptight and rude. Oh, but daddy he was so sweet and listened to every one of my words. We spent so much time together. Natasha has even invited me to join them on a trip they are taking to New York next month. New York! How crazy and wonderful is that?   _

_With love,_

_Loki_

 

Turing his back, the male reached up and tacked yet another letter to one of the many book shelves in his office. Playing his hand through his facial hair he mused.

“What? He sent you a letter you should be just fine…” Pepper interjected from the doorway, like she always seemed to do.

“No, no…that’s all fine.” His head tilted slightly. “I just, he finished the letter…’with love’”   

“So? That’s how you end a letter Stark, don’t be dense.”

“O…of course.” He nodded slowly. “Of course you do.”

The woman rolled her eyes and then looked to her clipboard. “Please don’t forget you have a meeting promptly at noon – in other words, forty-five minutes.”

Tony gave a smile and nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

Since the meeting at the college, Tony couldn’t help but get the boy out of his head. Peering up at the wall of books the male bit hard into his lip. Pulling the ladder towards him, he quickly ascended and began to thumb at the spines of the many books. How had he forgotten all of these old classics? There’s something he figured he overlooked. Shakespeare, he could quote love lace? He knew what the wrote about…but did he really know what they _meant_?

Why is he sending me love?

Pulling out the thick anthologies he began to descend the ladder and set the books on his desk. Looking them over he noticed the time and he began to retreat. Pepper was on her last straw with him not attending meetings. He sighed, his fingers lifting the pages and letting them fan down to close, searching the pages quickly. Letting the book close he turned to glance once more at the letter tacked to the shelf. What was he even afraid of? It was just a line that he sent. Hell he still believed that Tony was some old man. It was written in haste no doubt; he couldn’t bother knowing what Loki meant. Shoving the books onto a nearby shelf the male then left the room to attend his meeting, where he even beat Pepper by arriving early.

 

_

 

_Mercy Daddy!_

_Isn’t New York big? Do you mean to tell me you actually live in all the confusion? It’ll take me months to recover from only spending two days of it._

“Loki,” Tony waved hand to the male who opened the hotel room door. “Wonderful to see you again. Ready to go?”

Loki just gave a smile and nod, then turned his head back into the room. “Well I am, but I don’t think that NATASHA is GOING TO MAKE IT.” He raised his voice.

“Oh hush, I’m getting there!” The redhead began strutting forward pinching an earring on.

The two stood in the door for a moment and then she motioned with her arms. “Um, hello, I’m _ready!”_

Then, without anything else she pushed past the two and Loki looked slightly concerned. Tony had to fix that. He smiled and outstretched his arm, offering his hand. “Loki,”

The boy looked up at him, meeting his eyes. He smiled and then looked down at his hand.

“Let me show you my Manhattan.”

 

 

_Oh but it is quiet memorizing! Captivating and it seems as if the traffic moves to my heartbeat. I woke today not knowing a thing about the world, but Anthony took me all over, I don’t think I’ll ever see the world the same again. The city is full of questions I’m bursting to find out. The thousands of lights make me feel so welcome. Oh daddy, there simply must be wonder in the air._

_Gosh, look at me going on and on. You probably are tired of the place. Having lived her, I assume most of your life? Though Anthony did seem to have a childish spark in his eye as he showed me everything._

_We went everywhere. He took me onto a trolley, and we walked elbow to elbow around the time square. He showed me how to use the subway and we went to central park and up and down fifth avenue. In fact, we were almost late to a show because Natasha just had to buy a silly hat!_

_Me and Anthony had a moment to ourselves later that night. Natasha crashed, but me and him couldn’t seem to stop talking about our day. We ordered the most delicious room service, and talked all night long. He said that he thought I’d really thrive here. That my writing would flourish. Anthony mentioned that he was here always for business and that I was welcome any time. He said first said that he wanted to show his Manhattan, but at the end of the night, before we both passed out from exhaustion, he said that it was mine…that it could be our Manhattan. _

_Now I understand what they mean by a town that never sleeps. Can you imagine that?_

_Yours,_

_Loki_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals week sucks so much. I love you all so much and after my last final I locked myself up in a quiet space and just wrote. Hope you enjoy. How many of you got to watch the livestream? Huh? I didn't, I had a final! :(


	9. The Color of Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter! What exactly is going on with Tony? Just how many webs can he weave before getting tangled in them all?

_Oh no Daddy, oh no, no, no,_

_While the school year comes to an end, I recently received a letter from Mrs. Rippit. She writes, saying that she hopes I’m keeping proper and providing the Elizabeth Noel Home for Orphans a good representation. But oh daddy, I’m afraid she’d be very disappointed._

_What do I do? She commands me to return to the asylum and work for my room and board for the summer until school starts again. Oh daddy, I couldn’t possibly go back to that place, back to her._

_With the letter she sent a box. Inside of it, was an old blanket. One that I used to sleep with but then gave to another orphan boy because it had less holes and he was always shivering at night. She left a note saying that the kids simply didn’t want to keep it because it belonged to me. So, she sent it to me. Isn’t that crazy?_

_I’d love to visit the kids, see who’s still around there. Yet, it would also break my heart to know they are still there and I’m not there to keep them strong and prevent Mrs. Rippit from working them too hard._

_Oh daddy what shall I do?_

_Yours,_

_Loki_

* * *

 

 

_Dear Mr. Laufeyson,_

_Mr. Smith wanted me to write to you and ensure you that you will not have to return to the orphanage this summer. He has provided a lovely stay with a charming family, for you to stay in their farm for the summer. Now, you’ll still have to do some work around the place, however, Mr. Smith would like for you to focus on your studies and writing. Do not let anything distract you. Lock Willow is a wonderful place for creativity and also will give you a sense of work ethic with good people. Mr. Smith wishes you luck in your upcoming finals and hopes you will enjoy your stay at the farm._

_From the secretary’s desk of Mr. Smith,_

_Pepper Potts_

 

Pulling the paper from the type writer Tony couldn’t help but beam. This was one of his most brilliant plans. He’d have him stay in Lock Willow and have no distractions, he’d have time to sit and write and not worry about any old orphanage. Smiling he began to fold up the paper and stick it into an envelope. Sealing it off he placed it in his out mailbox and leaned back in to his chair. Things would be easy if Loki were to listen to him, as daddy of course.

 

* * *

 

 

_This place is simply beautiful! Even the name of the farm is just inspirational. Lock Willow. The land is wonderful daddy, it’s so pretty and almost like a postcard. Have you ever been here daddy? I imagine that you have and every time I turn the corner I hope to see you, or maybe a ghost of you. It’s odd, I know, but I can’t help but picture you staying here. Oh well…_

_The Barton’s are very sweet. Mr. Barton works on the farm and Mrs. Barton is always in the kitchen or running about the house cleaning. She said she would teach me how to cook! They are very nice and even though I have to work, they aren’t as a slave driver as Mrs. Rippit was. I’m excited to begin work on the farm, for now though they are letting me adjust to being here and relaxing from school._

_Are you friends with the Barton’s daddy? I hope so. I imagine they are just as nice as you. Perhaps you and Mr. Barton went to school together? He won’t tell me his age, but his grey hair gives hint to fairly old. Mrs. Barton as well must be about the same age. It’s nice to see a couple so much in love after all these years. They must love each other very much. I hope to find love like that someday daddy._

_Well, instead of sending you two letters in a month, I’m going to come back to this one. So, my eyes are about to close from exhaustion. I’ll finish writing to you tomorrow._

_Daddy? Have you ever said something out loud, and then didn’t realize that it could possibly offend someone? We began to do some work this morning and then the Barton’s talked about attending church on Sunday with them. Church? Daddy, I’ve never gone to church. I’ve never even read a bible. What would an orphan need god for? I talked with them about it, and may have let slip I didn’t believe in god. I could tell they were offended. I feel terrible daddy, I never wanted to offend them. It’s simply what I believe in, and it’s not like I would judge them for having a religion._

_Well, I better run off to help clean the kitchen coop, I don’t want to upset them any more by not doing my work. Again, I’ll write when I return._

_Oh daddy, my day here is terrible. I went out to go make a better mark with my work ethic and I just ruined it all. First, I was supposed to help Mr. Barton with cleaning and getting eggs from the chickens then from there, we were to go to the barn and move the hay from the top of the loft so they could put some out for the horses. Only, I made the mistake of leaving the chicken coop door open and all the chickens began to run all around the farm. It was all my fault daddy. I had to go around and make sure they all got back. By the end of the night, it began to rain and in a hurry to get back to the house, I took a short cut only to run right into a mud puddle. My shoes and pants are ruined. _

_Yet, what kept me from crying myself to sleep from such a terrible day, I came back to my room to the most wonderful surprise! There, on my cute little desk, between the two new blank pages of my book was sitting a daddy longlegs. I picked him up and place him in my hand carefully, then let him simply get picked up with the wind as I stuck my hand out of the window. As I watched him float off, I thought of you, daddy. I thought that no matter how bad of a day I have, I only have a day that it is because you gave me the opportunity. _

_I spent the whole night writing, okay, not the whole night, I had to leave time to add to this letter. Gosh, this is probably the longest I will have sent so far. Know that I am happy daddy, and I’m glad to be here._

_Yours,_

_Loki_

 

* * *

 

 

“Mail call.” Pepper strode into the office with a white envelope between her manicured fingernails. She stopped at the front of his desk and waved the card around teasingly. “Why don’t we make an agreement, eh?” She raised a brow.

Tony could only sigh as he looked up from his real work, Stark Enterprise work. It took everything in him to act careless. Inside he was bursting to get a hold of the letter to read what Loki had to say, how his days were.

“Agreement? Really…” He sighed.

“Fine then.” She shrugged, slipping the envelope between her breast and clip board. “I won’t give it to you at all.”

“Hey now, what if something serious happens to him? I still have to know if he’s okay.”

Pepper bit into her inner cheek and Tony knew she wasn’t falling for it. She was one of the only woman who could detect a Stark lie, and that’s why he hired her. Also, her body was just beautiful.

“I don’t know why you’re being so selfish.” The woman shook her head. “You’re putting this poor boy, literally…you’re spinning this big web of lies and you’re making worse as each letter comes.”

“Pepper, just give me the letter, please.” He shook his head. “So my curiosity got the best of me and I snuck over pretending I was Natasha’s uncle, just to get a glimpse at him.” He rolled his eyes, sticking out his hand. “Now, the letter?”

“If he weren’t your age this would be very wrong.” She huffed and handed over the white slip.

Tony greedily took it, yet held himself back by setting it next to his paper work and smiling back up at her. “I’ll read it, after my work is done.”

“Mhmm…” Pepper eyed him and then began to leave the room.

Tony simply picked his pen back up and began to scrawl on his work documents. Pepper in his peripheral and when her heels couldn’t be heard, he jumped up and ripped at the glued triangle and dug into read the letter.  

 

_Today is a Sunday,_

_Returning from church, the Barton’s let me relax for the day. I spent the whole day exploring this big house. There are so many fun places in this house. I was almost done with my search, till I found a small staircase that lead up. I climbed them and found a small room, it looked like it had once been a bedroom, but was now used to store things, just a dusty attic._

_It had trunks and cases and all sorts of things that used to be owned by a family no doubt. My curiosity took over and I began to look about, to see if maybe they were left from another family, or if they were the Barton’s._

_I found the cutest little box with a skull and cross bones on it. I opened it up and found piles of books and papers with childlike handwriting scrawled about. The books it contained were all adventure books, for little kids of course. I spent all day exploring what the chest had inside and after a while, I could begin to make a name out of the handwriting. All of the notes were signed. Master Tony. I immediately ran to Mrs. Barton and began to ask her questions as to whom the box belonged to. Did she give me quiet the story!_

_Long ago, the Stark family owned this farm, and the Barton’s simply worked there. Mrs. Barton had a son, and they were worried that the Stark’s would fire them, but about the same time, the Starks had a son as well, who was constantly ill. They would keep him up here to keep his spirits up. They agreed that the boy would need a friend and so, while the Barton’s worked, the boys were allowed to play. They loved playing pirates and adventuring. I asked what the boy’s name was and she smiled at his nickname but reassured me that his name was…_

_Anthony Stark.                 “_ Anthony Stark!”

_Did you know him daddy? You must have if you have been here. Perhaps you knew his great, great grandfather? I would hope you two knew each other, and perhaps you influenced him. Mrs. Barton informed me later that night at dinner that she forgot to mention that when little Master Tony grew up, he was able to maintain a stable healthy life and moved from the house. Then when his parents passed, he was given the property, but instead he came back and gave it to the Barton’s. That sounds just like you, daddy! _

_Won’t you let me know if you know the Starks? I’m very interested to know._

_Yours,_

_Loki_

 

 

Tony was instantly biting into his cheek, hard. If he kept it that way he was sure it would bleed, so he dropped the letter on the desk, keeping himself from looking at his name on the page.

His weight gave way and he fell back into his chair. The letter just lying there burned holes in the side of his head. Putting his head into his lap Tony sat in his study, his thigh bouncing up and down rapidly. He writes of him, him as Anthony, in such detail. At some points he feels wrong for reading the letters now, like he’s reading someone else’s mail, or worse, some sort of diary. So, it left him to do this, sitting there drowning in waves of his own deceit. He was simply an imposter, a fake. Yet, Tony couldn’t help but feel like each time he felt terrible about his white lie, the two would meet and he’d be rescued.

“You know you can’t keep doing this right?”

“Dammit Pepper…” Tony spun around in his chair to look narrowly at his secretary.

Of course she hadn’t strayed too far. Why hadn’t he heard her heels coming closer?

“Tell him.” She began to stride into the room, arms folded. “You’ve _have_ to tell him. I mean if he hasn’t caught on yet, you’re a horrible person for lying to him, just to see him write some silly stories.”

Tony’s brow furrowed at her. “Who said I was lying to anyone?” He shrugged. “It’s just so hard to see him thrive at the fact that someone believes in him. It doesn’t matter, he thinks I’m some old man, married with a ton of kids. _It doesn’t matter_.”

“Yes, but he doesn’t know that the two men in his life are the _same_ person.” She rolled her eyes and stepped closer to the desk. “What are you going to do? Hire an old kook and have him stand in as “daddy” so he stops asking questions?”

He had to admit, the thought did enter his mind, but it had quickly left because all he needed was to weave more lies. And of course, he always wanted to come out with the truth. Except, the paper he’d always pull out to write a letter on would end up crumbled because just as soon as he tried to tell him the truth, he was so afraid of losing his affection and trust. Tony was so worried that Loki would hate him, curse his name. Stark only had himself to blame. For now, they would stay friends, staying happy in the philanthropists own mad hypocrisy.

“I’ll take care of it Pepper.” Was all Tony said.

This, seemed to please her for the moment. Until that is, she got to the door. Pausing, she placed her hand on the frame and looked back to him. “Take care of it…or I will.”

Gulping harshly, Tony fell back into his seat and looked down at the stationary on his desk. Slowly reaching for it, he placed in front of him and grabbed a pen. Then, after a moment of placing his hand down and stalling, he took a deep breath and then started.

 

_Dearest Loki,_

 

However, his hand began to shake and he dropped his pen. Grumbling the man returned to his office work after shoving the paper to the side.

For the rest of the day, Pepper gave him a cold shoulder. She didn’t speak a word to him, just left him memos on his desk, then promptly left for the night. Tony could swear sometimes they acted like a deranged married couple. As he heard his stomach growl, he got up to go find something to eat for dinner. Strolling through the house, he held the thought of responding to Loki in the back of his head. Of course he felt extremely selfish and terrible for hiding things, begin so deceitful.

Beginning to prepare his dinner, he reminded himself of how all this started. He’d always been a kind man, someone who wanted to help those around him. Of course people spat on his name, whispered rude comments here and there. Yet, it wasn’t his fault that he was born into a family where he inherited millions at the age of twelve. Since then, he spent it wisely, of course he lived more than well, yet he always made sure others did to. That’s why he went back to Lock Willow, to the Barton’s, offered to pay their son’s tuition. Give them the farm to own. Charity. It was one of Tony’s favorite things.

Finishing his meal in silence, the man was beat and decided to retire for the night. Except, his whole nigh was spent tossing and turning, his head reeling with images of Loki, of their time together. Many lucid dreams of Loki catching him as daddy, and hating him for it. Finally, he ended up sitting up, resting on the headboard. In a quick dash, the male was running to his study. Half jumping into this desk chair, the man began searching the top. Glancing around he instantly reached for a blank piece of paper. He had to write.

_From the desk of,_

_Anthony Stark,_

_I’ve been meaning to write to you for some time now but with no success. It felt rather dishonest writing to you as Anthony, when all your letters were being written to daddy. I put it off, and I know that I shouldn’t have. I am sorry to inform you of this, but seeing as you discovering my connection to lock willow, makes the confession all the more necessary._

_But I still don’t know whether to write to you as Anthony telling you I’m daddy, or daddy telling you I’m Anthony. Either way I feel I shall be a terrible disappointment to you._

_What should I say? What would make sense? I’ve made this whole mess of this and all at your expense. And now my little white lie is haunting me. I want to tell you the truth, but I just don’t know how. Because, Loki, without this foolish disguise, what will you think when you know who I am? How can I soften the blow of this, when you know the color of my eyes?_

_I am in agony guessing what you’ll do when you find out I’ve lied to you. Will you forgive me or break my heart in two?_

_Ps: it’s late and I can’t get sleep, as I think of the hurt in your eyes._

_Cause what will you write when you find out I’m me, and you see the color of my eyes?_

_They are the color of shame because I’m completely to blame._

_…But I can’t let you go._

_I know the color of your eyes…_

 

Glancing overt the note, Tony nodded slowly, crinkled it up into a ball and tossed it into the wastebasket. Lowering his head onto the desk, the man was then able to drift off to sleep. 

 


	10. Here in Lock Willow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony enters Loki's life, in person once again. How will he leave Loki feeling, what will he cause him to do?

 

_Daddy you’ll never believe who made a visit to lock willow! Natasha’s uncle Anthony. I almost didn’t believe it when Mrs. Barton told me that he’d be traveling for business and that he wanted to stop in and visit with them. She asked if I’d mind and of course I told her I’d be more than happy to see him._

 

“Oh Tony!” Mrs. Barton called out from the kitchen.

Loki’s head perked up from the book his nose was buried in, as he heard the commotion in the kitchen.

Closing his book, while leaving his finger between the page he rose from the couch and entered the kitchen slowly. He peered in to make sure he was even supposed to know what was going on or to be a part of it.

_Oh of course I hadn’t expected him to get there so quickly! As if he had no business meetings at all. Seeing him in person gives me so much delight daddy, most of the time I don’t even remember my own name when I’m around him, surrounded by his perfect aurora._

_I feel so strange daddy._

_There’s this feeling in my chest..._

_and I can’t stop smiling, be he there or not._

_Is that what they call love daddy? Oh, dare I even say that word. What would a child like me know about love?_

_Do you know daddy? You must, I imagine you’re married, say fifty years already?_

_Gosh, don’t answer that, and don’t worry._

_We’ll keep it filed under crush. Though I’ve never known what it feels like, nor had any experience with the same or opposite sex for that matter in matters of the heart._

 

“What is that you’re always reading?” Tony spoke up one night while they were resting in the living room.

“Not reading…writing.” Loki shrugged. “I’ve just grown to write in this in time to time, working on becoming a writer…practicing my book writing.”

“Book writing, oh, my.”

“Ambitious I know…” He began

“No, no, I enjoy it, envy it even.” 

“Oh, well thank you.”

“Of course.” The male gave a smirk. “Let me proof read sometime?”

Loki’s hands protectively curl around the edges of the book. “I couldn’t possibly let anyone else read this silly old thing.”

Tony just smiled. “Well, if you change your mind I’m here.”

_Sunday morning Daddy I woke in a panic!_

_I had slept in so late that I was sure I’d miss church. Why hadn’t the Barton’s checked on me?_

_Dashing down the stairs, I notice that the house is empty and in defeat I somberly walked to the kitchen, knowing I’d receive some sort of scold or punishment later when the Barton's returned._

_But oh my daddy, if you could have been there to see it!_

_Tony prepared a whole breakfast spread on the table just for the two of us. We ate breakfast together and while we did, he explained that he asked the Barton’s for us to be free of our duties for the day. He told me to get ready, but not to look too nice because we'd be adventuring. That we would be going on a picnic in the mountains. And oh was it magical…_

 

“Magical, just magical…” Loki breathed as they reached the peak of the mountain.

“Yes, it’s not changed a bit since I was little.” The brunette shrugged. “Though it’s a lot easier for me now than when I was a sick pale child.”

Even his laugh was beautiful. Loki couldn’t help but keep a grin off of his lips.

 They had made it up just in time for lunch. It was noon on the dot and the two were more than happy to set up their picnic basket. They enjoyed a wonderful meal, for a picnic, or at least Loki thought so. Though he’d never really been on a picnic before. They enjoyed sandwiches, chips, fruit and even soda. They laid in the warm sun on the blanket, books gathered around them in piles. Each one would pick up the one the other set down and began to mark their favorite passages from it, and place them in a special pile to see if they marked the same. Almost all of them had the same ones.

_I don’t think I’ll ever stop sighing Daddy. I could see a whole other side of Anthony. Always seeing him in a business suit and now, spending a whole day with him with such a childish spark in his eye. I saw the real "Master Tony" today and was he adorable II liked to think that I'm a person that he trusts to let his real self shine through. A child at heart. And quite the adventure we had. I've never been on adventures, but I know this was one of the best._

_It was the perfect day! With the perfect person. _

_Though I don’t even know if Tony even knows that I feel this way for him. Maybe he’s just being nice to me? We’re of the same age, have the same interests and he treats me very kind. Is he simply being nice, or could be possibly like me back? Why is love so difficult?_

_I’ve sighed again. Oh, will they ever stop?_

_At least I’ll have these last few days here at lock willow to take back with me to school. Maybe I’ll tell my friends, or maybe I’ll keep it to ourselves._

_Well, I’m very tired daddy, and I must get back to my sleep schedule if I’m to go back to the dorms this following week._

_I hope your summer was just as magical daddy._

_Yours always,_

_Loki_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter for the new year, for you (even though it's not quiet that time just yet).


	11. Unhappy Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another year at school begins to pass for Loki, and Tony seems to be battling a war with himself and secretary?

 

_Dear daddy,_

_As you now know, I am a sophomore. Walking around campus feels so different, like I’m entitled, and of course, it’s fun to watch the freshman run around without a clue._

_I wonder if I looked as foolish?_

_Anyways, Daddy, I’ll be taking a proper English class this semester and I’m very excited for my writing to change. I know you’re expecting me to write, and I am, I promise. I just got a wonderful new book to fill all the pages!_

_And don’t you just love this wonderful stationary that Mrs. Barton gifted to me as a parting gift?_

_This year, me and Natasha are once again roommates and guess what daddy! She’s inviting me to her home for Christmas. That means I’ll get to have a proper Christmas. Also, she told me her brother would be home, Dylan. He’s so sweet, and he promised, in a letter, last summer that he’d teach me how to skate on a real frozen pond. Oh daddy, I couldn’t be more excited for December break!_

_This letter is so short, but I promise a lot is going on. I’m just in a hurry to get to my next class._

_Yours,_

_Loki_

___

 

“You went to Lock Willow?” Pepper shouted. “You’re an idiot!”

“Excuse me.” Tony set down the letter he was reading. Why was it she always walked in while he was reading his letters.

The philanthropist simply rose from his seat and turned his back, to tack the letter to his many shelves lined with books. While his back was turned, Pepper strutted forward from the door and slammed her hands on the front of his desk.

“ _Anthony Edward Stark_!” Pepper’s words were pure venom.

Turning to look at his secretary, he was quiet shocked, he’d never heard her voice sound so…pissed.

“If you don’t tell this boy what you’re doing, so help me god I will run to the nearest press member and tell them what is going on.” She hung her head. “This is wrong, Tony. This is so, so wrong.”

Tony found his throat tightening, and his eyes dropped to the floor. “I understand.”

Pepper’s head raised once more. “Do you? Do you really?”

Tony began to open his mouth, however, Peppers words started before he could.

“Do you know what it feels like…when, when you meet a man and he’s everything you could have ever imagined? You start to fantasize, you dream about all the things you’ll do together, hell you’ll even begin to see your wedding day.” Her eyes started to become tear filled. “You can’t do that to a person Tony, you can’t…you can’t fill them with hopes and dreams and then crush them.”

All her words hit the male in a wave. He raised his head and saw her, saw a tear spill over. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Tony had misled his secretary into thinking that he loved her. He gave her gifts, made sure she had plenty of attention, and yes maybe they had slept one or twice, but none of it was working for Tony. Now, here he was, pie on his face.

In the silence of the two, Pepper regained her composure and through sniffs, she spoke. “Anthony…” She began. “I think it’s come to the time…where I don’t work for you anymore.” Taking in a deep breath, she shook her head. “Consider this my two week.”

 

_

 

_Dear daddy,_

_As you know, I’ve taken my English class for some time now, so I can properly write to you. The following will be listed in bullet points._

  1. _My writing has become more frequent and enriched with style._
  2. _Me and Natasha have grown much more close as the semester goes on._
  3. _I’m still very, very excited to be going to Manhattan for Christmas._



_3a. I’m thinking of buying Anthony a present._

  1. _I’ve recently found a job on campus._



_4a. I will be able to get Anthony something with my own money, and not yours’ daddy. No protest!_

  1. _I wonder if Anthony would enjoy cologne…_
  2. _I’m awfully tired after a long day._
  3. _Good night._



_Yours,_

_Loki_

___

_Dearest Loki,_

_I am writing you to inform you that Mr. Smith is quiet excited for you to be spending the holidays with your friend. However, he reminds you to remain gracious and respectable while in another’s home and care. Remember to say thank you, and that he’ll be sending them a gracious gift for keeping over the holidays. Over all, enjoy your time, and of course,_ Happy Holidays

_From the secretary’s desk of Mr. Smith_

 

_

 

_Daddy,_

_What do you think Christmas is all about? What does it mean to you?_

_I went with Natasha to her family’s home for the holidays and daddy is was not what I expected._

_Everything seemed to go wrong. Dylan could only stay for a few days, before he was asked to go back to school to make sure he’d graduate early. Natasha, seemed to only want to go shopping and have little to do with me, and to top it all off, my gift for Anthony got lost at the train ride over._

_The whole time I felt like a ghost amongst a house of the dead. Not to speak ill of Natasha, but her family was so…so fake. The house was giant, full of things. Get this daddy, they didn’t even sit at the table for dinner. They were all nice and smiling when they greeted me, but after, it seemed they would all rather sit around the house or go shopping._

_I can see that Natasha is different, and so are her parents. They aren’t as materialistic as the rest._

_When I did sit with the other members of the family, after explaining myself and who I was, they began to gossip. A family that gossiped about the others in it. Though I wanted to block it out and not pay mind to it, I couldn’t help to pry when they began to speak of Anthony._

_They speak so poorly of him, and he wasn’t even there to defend himself._

_I learned so much of him, Daddy. I figured he would be the one I’d want to see during my time there. However, after hearing about what his family had to say, I think it was good he wasn’t there. I don’t know what my feelings of him are now._

_It seemed every night when I’d rest my head, I was the only orphan on the upper east side._

_Yours,_

_Loki_


	12. Just Who Is Helping Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophmore Year comes and goes and its now time for summer vacation. Will it be months filled with flirty promenades around Lock Willow, or with distance resonating miles apart.

Charity.

That was what Tony believed in.

He never sought out selfish endeavors. As a man that was born with one hundreds stuffed into hands, he had always known that it was better to give the money away, for a good cause then his own selfish needs. Yes, he used it to maintain a nice lifestyle. Live in a nice house, with a nice car and all things of that nature. Unlike his family, who had houses in different parts of the world, yacht’s, butlers and maids. All things Tony just couldn’t seem to waist his money on. He gave back the money to people or things that truly deserved it. It made him feel better.

Taking on Loki Laufeyson was one of his biggest investments. A full four years’ college tuition, and pretty much whatever else he needed to succeed. Chosen by his humorous and witty turn of phrase writing he so happened to stumble upon at the orphanage, another charity he spent much time writing checks for. Rarely did he ever step into the place, and how fate aligned to make Loki sparkle like the star Tony knew he was by the narratives he wrote. What genuinely struck the man to choose him, was his actions.

He was faceless, an old man depicted in Loki’s imagination. However, he was real, just as real the day he was at the orphanage, where he caught a scene playing out while he snuck away from his meeting to grab himself water. He spotted a selfless orphan, who he could tell had been so for years, give up his opportunity of freeing himself, for another orphaned child. In that moment, Tony just had to know his name, his story and how he could help him.

Now look at where they were. Falling in love with a man he doesn’t know is really reading all of his letters. All of his dirty secrets, like a diary of sorts. He always blushed when he read his name scrawled out in the males handwriting.

Charity.

Tony gave to those in need, now he was in need himself. He never realized that it was much easier to give, than to let one receive. Loki’s love was so out of the blue, he never imagined he’d be in such a position, if he were Loki, he wouldn’t be so strong. Loki was more than welcome to go and do as he pleased, Daddy would help him out if need be. He could send out his love to anyone. But the love that he, Tony gave was never really his to loose in the first place. It was one thing to be charitable, but love behind the charity was what counted. Something Loki understood, but Tony was learning just now.

Swirling his glass of scotch in his hand, his arm resting on the arm rest of his desk chair, he looked around the many bookshelves filled with letters. The brunette was left to ponder.

Just who is helping who?

 

 

 

_Daddy,_

_As much as I am very thankful for your connection at Lock Willow for me to stay – and I must say, that I am excited to return to Lock Willow. It was quiet fun to spend my spring break there. Except, how exciting would it be go, oh I don’t know…Paris, or Egypt._ _Imagine a summer immersed in culture flooding into my brain. As well as encouraging inspiration to help write._

_I_ _don’t mean to say that I want more money from you, or that I am desperate to get away from Lock Willow, or school, it’s just, my curiosity is strong. The way Natasha speaks of spending her holidays in vast countries makes my soul salivate daddy. So I wanted to send this to you early, so that if gives you these last two months before the end of the semester to decide if you’ll allow me to go somewhere new daddy._

_My grades have been magnificent all year. My professors have even acknowledged my growth and are very proud of me. I hope that you are too daddy. I wouldn’t dare think how you'd be if you weren't._

_Well, Natasha is pulling me away to go do some much needed retail therapy. Don’t worry, I won’t spend too much! I’ve had my eye on a beautiful hat in one of the store windows. Perhaps I will buy it here, and by summer it’ll have seen, Big Ben, the pyramids or the Eiffel tower! Just think of the possibilities of it all daddy!_

_Yours,_

_Loki_

____

_I haven’t heard from you yet Daddy,_

_That worries me. Do you not agree with me? It’s okay if you are not okay with such a big trip. I have an alternative for you!_

_Natasha is going to her cousin’s ranch in Maryland. It’s no Big Ben, but I think it’ll be exciting to be in a new state, new city. Plus, she said that Dylan would be there too. He’s gotten a job with a local firm, he’s a lawyer now. Isn’t that exciting? Natasha said that he’d be staying a few days at the ranch while we’re there and added that he’d be more than happy to teach me how to fish!_

_Oh daddy. I couldn’t be more thrilled._

_I_ _have also heard that this aunt is much nicer than the rest of the family from Anthony._

_Oh! Speaking of him Daddy, he has been writing to me the past few months. It is good to hear from him, keep in touch. I haven’t seen him since he visited Lock Willow one afternoon during break. He wrote to me saying that he was going to be staying all summer at Lock Willow for about as long as I. If I must go to Lock Willow, at least I won’t be alone. He said he’ll be there for business matters however, so maybe he’ll be too busy for me?_

_Yet, daddy, if you let me go to Natasha’s, then I’ll set strict writing times for myself and I promise I won’t get too wrapped up in shopping, or dealing with her family. Is that okay?_

_There are only a few more weeks left in this year daddy, please respond soon._

_Yours,_

_Loki_

___

 

Tony was again sitting in his office chair in front of his desk, note in his hand. As much as his heart yearned for Loki to get everything he wanted. To be the one to take him on an adventure to vast lands and different worlds. He simply couldn't. He wanted Loki to be enriched from this experience, not distracted with amounts of money. All his inspiration was awaiting him in Lock Willow. He felt terrible that he had to disappoint the male, but it had already taken him so long to respond, the boy had sent another letter. However, there were so many distractions he'd face if he didn't go to lock willow. There was Natasha, shopping, Dylan... Tony felt silly when he thought about it, jealous of his own relative, because Loki might turn his fascination to him, instead of Daddy, or worse Tony. 

Deep in thought, his fingers absently began to tap at the desk top. Lips pursed, he began to nod slowly. He knew what he had to do. He'd send one as his secretary, then soften the blow by sending him letters from himself, promising that he'd be at Lock Willow most of his summer. That's how he'd fix this all. 

So, with a smile on his lips, the male spun his chair, to face his type writer and began to clack away, as this anonymous secretary he'd also developed. Of course with each click his conscience was screaming at him. He knew what he was doing, he knew how many webs he'd woven, but there was moment when he just came to terms with what he was doing. All he had to do was remind himself, how much it would all pay off in the end.  

_I am sorry to inform, that Mr. Smith does not think it a smart decision to go anywhere but Lock Willow. However, he does encourage you to look for culture elsewhere. He is more than happy to provide you books on wherever you are interested. Mr. Smith ensures that Lock Willow is the perfect place, no distractions._

_Best Wishes_

_From the secretary’s desk of Mr. Smith._

 

__

_Dear daddy,_

_I am writing to you to tell you that if you wish for me to receive you letters, you must send them on time._

_I have already gone with Natasha with her family. I’ve been all settled in for about a two weeks._

_It took some time for the Barton’s to contact me and send me your letter. The strange thing? I received a letter just last week from Anthony. Addressed to the house, it didn’t go to Lock Willow._

_How could he have known to send it here, when I told him I’d be at Lock Willow?_

_Perhaps the Barton’s called to tell him…but, why wouldn’t they have called you to ask where I am?_

_Please tell me I haven’t offended them daddy. That was not my intent. You just didn’t seem to care where I went, so I decided on my own._

_I will miss the opportunity to see Anthony, but Dylan just arrived a few days ago and he has planned a very busy schedule for us. I couldn’t be more excited!_

_Don’t worry though, I am writing daily, twice some days. I find myself some nights waking with my head on my book and pen fallen to the floor because I have written to exhaustion._

_Have a wonderful summer daddy._

_Yous,_

_Loki_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh. my. god. 1000 hits. THANK YOU ALL WHO HAVE READ. It's seriously so amazing. I have been busy dealing with school but you guys are always back and reading, even though some of them are painfully short. I apologize. Yet, the feedback is great, I honestly didn't see this getting past at least four chapters and here we are, number 12! I swear its just about to get really, really amazing. I know some have still stuck around, just waiting for one on one time with the two, but just you wait! I'll definitely try to update more. How about...if this chapter gets, say....ten comments, I'll (attempt) to update early? Or who knows, maybe I'll do so because I'm feeling generous. stay tuned!


	13. I Couldn't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junior year now comes and goes, what other trials and tribulations have arose? Will Tony and Loki be filled with doubt and woe?

_Dear Daddy,_

_Junior year has been coming along just fine. I know we had the little hiccup at the beginning of the summer but I do hope this has not upset you._

_Even though I was not in Lock Willow, I still had the best time. Dylan came a few days after I had sent you my letter. We spent the week together, shopping, and seeing the sites around DC. It’s much more breath taking than I thought it was. I’d just learned about all of it in my government class. Then, suddenly Anthony showed up. He mentioned that he had business, so he would stay for a night or two depending on how his meetings went. I was happy to see him, despite how I originally felt a few months ago._

_Plus, we were very lucky to have had him over. The first day that Dylan took us to the lake to teach me how to fish, he ended up cutting himself deeply. Anthony knew just how to help. He stitched his hand up in a flash. I couldn’t take my eyes away, Dylan threw up, twice. It was quiet incredible to watch the stitches._

_How would you feel if I were to become a nurse daddy?_

_Ha, no worries. I won’t go changing my major this far into my college career._

_Speaking of my career I’ve already began to take all of my hand written notebooks and began to type them up. Oh, right, did I mention that Anthony gave me a type writer? Okay, well he didn’t give it to me, but I found it in my guest room the moments after he left. Oh daddy its so very pretty and just so generous.  He left a note; can’t wait to read your book, hope this helps. With love, Anthony._

_I’m still sighing from how fun it was. Again, I can still get my work done even though I wasn’t in Lock Willow. I hope you loosen your reigns for next summer daddy._

_Yours,_

_Loki_

_-_

_Daddy,_

_I find myself walking around campus enjoying all of the beautiful buildings and the trees turning yellow and orange._

_I think I quiet enjoy not living in the dorms anymore, me and Natasha’s apartment is coming along very well. We’ve gotten more furniture for it, and we’re even thinking of getting a Christmas tree and possibly just staying in town for the holidays._

_You’re more than welcome daddy, if we decide to throw a Christmas party. Unless, you’re staying with family._

_It’s begun to snow here, isn’t that crazy? It’s come early this year. Last year there was just about none. I’m excited to see what the campus looks like covered in the beautiful glittery white blanket._

_It should provide some inspiration for my writing. I can just picture it, snuggling up in a cozy chair, hot chocolate and my pen and paper. Yes, that sounds wonderful._

_My classes are going even better than ever. Straight A’s, nothing less than perfect. I am taking more selective classes and I figured that they would become more challenging and yet I find them being fairly easy to maintain._

_I hope you’re happy to hear how things are. I’ll write again in a month._

_Until then, happy holidays daddy._

_Yours,_

_Loki_

___

_Exciting news daddy!_

_As you know, summer is just around the corner. I couldn’t be more excited to finish my junior year. I’ve been studying so much I think I might have gotten a paper cut on my nose from sticking them in so many text books._

_Though I know when to pull myself away to breath and not stress too much over finals. Like writing to you, daddy, and writing in my journal…and to Anthony. We’re getting very close daddy._

_During spring break…and keep this just between me and you._

_While spending the day at lock willow, we ran up to the mountain for a picnic, and on the way back we got caught in the most wonderful rainstorm. When we finally reached the Barton’s porch, we were drenched through. And oh daddy, after we laughed, he gave me this look. That look, I’ve never seen it before in my life, and then I just knew, well my body seemed to know before I did and suddenly there was no space left between us. Oh, my. Look at me, you probably don’t want to know about some silly first kiss. Apologies._

_But, back to the news! Natasha’s family is going to Paris this summer_. _PARIS.  And they’ve invited  ME! Me! Oh, daddy I just can’t believe it, I’ll get to see so many beautiful and wonderful things. I think I might just get a glimpse of heaven._

_Please, please, respond accordingly this time. I must know whether I can go or not._

_Excitedly yours,_

_Loki_

___

Tony sat, stroking the fuzz on his jawline. Holding the letter in his hand the male began to plot out the details. If he let Loki go to Paris, would he be giving him too much? Would he go off and forget Daddy…forget all about his book writing?

“Shit…” Tony grumbled, throwing the paper down on the desk.

Why was it always so hard to say no to this boy?

_“Because you kissed him you big idiot.”_

He could hear Pepper’s snide comment from the office doorway.

_“Beyond all of the connections you made in letters, you made the mistake of making it physical.”_

Tony could almost feel the air from her huff of a laugh.

_“He’ll be writing “Mr and Mr Anthony’ all over his notebooks.”_

Sighing, Tony stood, pulled on his shirt and moved from behind his desk. Filling his glass half way, the man couldn’t help but sigh.

What had he done?

Slamming his head back he took the scotch down, and brought his head back up, teeth seething. He always drank when he dealt with dealing blows. He was never good at the “emotions” thing. In fact the whole thing gave him immense anxiety and was afraid he’d go into a full on attack. However, after taking a few deep breaths, he returned to his desk, and began to type quickly on his typewriter.

 

_Mr. Laufeyson,_

_I’m writing again, with regrets regarding your summer plans. Mr. Smith, stands behind his idea that Lock Willow is just the place for you. You will thrive and be better off surrounded by less of a materialistic atmosphere. He also, regrets to say that if you refuse to make it to Lock Willow this summer, he will withdraw his support. Mr. Smith does not want to do this, do not fall short of obeying him._

_Best wishes,_

_From the secretary’s desk of Mr. Smith_

 

_

 

Tony had sent the letter out three weeks ago. Daddy received no letters, but Tony certainly received one with a ruined Loki. He was upset, mad and wanted Tony to agree with him. Yet, he simply told him the truth. He implied that he could see where “daddy” was coming from. As well as trying to distract him with the idea that, to make him feel better, he would make a special visit to Lock Willow. This, didn’t please Loki.

The philanthropist went through weeks of torture. Waiting, and waiting…and waiting. His break was only two months long, and he was supposed to update him the month before summer and the month before school. Yet, he received no letters, none for Daddy and none for Tony. He figured it’d be silly to go to Lock Willow in fears that he’d reject him face to face. There was no need for that at all. So, he sat through the torture of grabbing the mail each day and being disappointed with the outcome.

Then, came the fateful day. A letter! A letter from Lock Willow to Daddy.

Tony ran from his front door straight into his study and nearly ripped the letter itself as he fell into his chair. He was so frantic to read it, yet his hands shook with nerves. Finally, he’d dug his thumb under a loose section of the envelop fold and tore it smoothly and pulled the letter from it. Quickly he began to read aloud to himself.

 

_It’s been nearly two months now,_

_since I’ve written you back. You can imagine my regret…though it wasn’t very nice not to write. I won’t see Sally all summer. I know you must have had your reasons, daddy. I don’t know why you behave as you do. You’re just a line on a card that denotes, where you have ordered me to. You don’t try to imply there’s a why. I wouldn’t venture a guess. I couldn’t know someone less…_

_I’ve imagined you…so many ways. You are kind, you are tall…you are old, but in all those pondering days I’d not imagined you heartless and cold. I thought you cared, I confess. I couldn’t know you less….._

_Now, here I am. In a farm in the country. Mrs. Barton is really quiet simple, makes sure the cows are fed. Exciting news! Tomorrow, we might even paint the barn a different shade of red. Mr. Barton told me about some ice cream social at the schoolhouse, down the road. He and his wife encouraged me, but honestly daddy, I just wish I were dead. _

_If only I could travel to the places in my books, then perhaps I could see just how Milton’s heaven looks. But I am here, watching days’ slip away, a drift in my own discontent. Though you’ve showed me kindness, and changed my life. No doubt, I am greatly in debt to you. Why would you bother to set me free…if you were to only turn around and imprison me?_

_I couldn’t know you less. Whoever you_ _are._

_Loki Laufeyson_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just cranked out at least three other chapters, which I was not expecting to be whacked by so much inspiration. This was written quickly and at night so I deeply apologize now, for any errors or things that don't make sense. I read through it only a few times, but what can you do when you're sleep deprived (it was worth it)? Happy Friday, hope this update made you very happy. :)


	14. Secret of Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is feeling happy during his swnior year, but it has nothing to do with Tony.

_Well, here we are.  First day of senior year!_

_Me and Natasha are no longer roommates. She lives in another apartment with two other girls in our class. I’m fine with that, I’ve gotten another friend, Sally, to join me. I’m in the same apartment, just new roommate. It’s kind of refreshing to have someone new. To learn their habits and schedule. It’s different. We both arrived early so that we could settle in before our classes started up._

_We’ve got a beautiful dining room table. Sally’s grandmother gave it to us. After, that is Sally assured her that I wasn’t her boyfriend, but just friends rooming together, splitting rent.  It’s a deep, rich brown and very sturdy. It’s fun to sit down and have lunch and dinner together. Probably the closest I’ve been to a family. Natasha never was one to want to sit at the table._

_Me and her are still friends, don’t worry daddy. I don’t blame her for moving. She made friends with Marsha K this summer when they found out their hotel rooms were right across from each other while they were in Paris. She even brought me back a beautiful Persian scarf. It’s very lovely, made of really fine material. I can’t begin to guess how much she paid for it. But that’s not the point right? The point is that she thought of me, even though I had to lie to her as to why I couldn’t run off to Paris with her._

_Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I don’t know who I am anymore. All I can see are the lies that I’ve told. Lies about my life, about my childhood, about my status. I make it sound like I’m richer than gods, rather than no more than my job allows. Pretending to live the lavish life is difficult and I’m done fighting the battle. If someone asks, I’ll tell them the truth. No more lies Daddy. I hope you take the vow with me too. Not that I’ll know, but I’d like to believe that you do._

_Sincerely,_

_Loki_

 

_

 

Trailing his fingers against his lips, Tony stood near the window, lost in his memories. Recalling the day at Lock Willow. How everything had gone perfectly. He got to spend time with Loki, Loki was happy to be in his company. Their picnic was just like the last. The two were sprawled out on the blanket and looking up at the sky, spilling things about themselves, or random thoughts. In the moment, Tony swore the world had stopped and only they were in motion. Nothing could come between the two of them, they were invincible.

_“Kiss me…”_

His voice was just as breathless as the day he heard it.

_“I don’t mean to be forward, but you’ll kiss me goodnight won’t you?”_

The two had caught each other in the hallway of the house, getting ready for bed. Tony was leaving the bathroom after brushing his teeth, Loki was going back into his room from grabbing a glass of water.

They had stopped in the middle, and Tony didn’t think that they would talk about their post ran run kiss. It had just happened. The two men were just caught up in the moment, he didn’t figure Loki would even know what to do with himself. Yet, there they were, in the hall, him asking for another kiss.

Tony found himself nodding, pulling him closer by the waist. Pecking his lips softly, he offered a smile and began to go to his room.

_“Good night Loki.”_

Pushing away from the window he went to the desk, the white envelope sitting in the middle. It’d been delivered the other day but after his last letter he was more than anxious to read. Hell, he almost had a heart attack when he realized he’d even sent him a letter in the first place.

Inhaling deeply, Tony lifted the letter and began to read. Hoping the blow wouldn’t be too harsh.

_

 

_Oh daddy!_

_I was just given the best news! As soon as I was aware I couldn’t wait to start writing to you. Right after the meeting I was instantly jotting down in one of my notebooks. Ah! I wish I were able to tell you face to face because I know you’ll be so proud of me._

_I’ve been battling the past few months with three other students. And I did it. I came out on top with the highest GPA! Daddy, you are reading the letter of this year’s valedictorian!_

_Ah! I’m so excited. I never would have thought that me, Loki, a little nobody orphan would ever achieve something so…so grand. My whole body is vibrating with excitement. My hands have been shaking since I shook hands with the dean, gosh daddy, I can hardly write this letter to you._

_I hope you are proud. Very, very proud of me. I’m proud of myself, and so, so grateful to you. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I don’t think I’d ever would have reached this level of happiness if I were fated to stay in the orphanage._

_I’m going to try and calm down and maybe right out a few chapters with all this buzzing excitement. I’m staying humble, don’t worry. Ah! I have a whole speech to write. Jeez, I can’t wait for commencement!  You’ll be there won’t you? Please tell me you will._

_How grand would it be if I were to walk across that stage and see you, sitting in the audience. Ware a white rose won’t you? In your suit pocket. I’m assuming you wear suits; what else would you wear? I’ll look out into the audience and see your rose and know that someone is there for me. That someone cares. Then, when I walk off the stage I’ll get to see your face, and the finally know the color of your eyes._

_So many exciting new things!_

_Yours,_

_Loki_

___

Plopping down at his desk, Anthony spotted another letter on his desk. Few months later and now it was time to open yet another letter. He bit into his inner cheek. Something didn’t sit right with him. How did he know if he’d just write again telling him how much he didn’t like daddy? No bothering to mention that he hadn’t written to Tony in a while. Looking right at the envelope he sighed and reached for it. Ripping at the thin paper he opened it and began to read the letter.

It only took him a moment to read it, then a few seconds to let the words sink in. Valedictorian? He’d made that title all on his own. Tony was flooded with pride as he thought about how much work Loki put into it to get there. Setting the letter down he mused to himself. What was he going to do if he had to be both Tony and Daddy at graduation. There was no way tony could lie to loki like that. Ha! What joke that was. He'd pretty much been lying this entire time. What was he going to do?


	15. Graduation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to cross the stage and move onto the REAL world. Will Daddy show? Will Tony be there, and for who? Does Loki blow his big speech?

Standing in front a full length mirror, Loki had to remind himself to keep calm. He had this. It was nothing crazy, just a little speech in front of millions of people. No big thing. His hands were shaking, his breath was uneasy, however, as he saw his best friends head pop out from the curtain he smiled.

“Natasha!” He cheered.

The girl snuck through the curtain and quickly squeezed him around the waist.

“What are you doing back here? You’re going to get in trouble. The teachers and deans will be in here any minute!”

“Well then maybe you should stay quiet.” She giggled.

Loki just rolled his eyes and squeezed her tight, willing all of his nerves out.

“Well thank god you are back here, I’m simply only freaking out a lot.”

The redhead simply smiled. “You’re going to be fantastic. Just look how you rock this gown.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved her off. “It’s a graduation gown, they make everyone look bad.”

“Not you.” She wiggled her brows. “You know my uncle is here… but I’m pretty sure he’s not sitting in the audience for me.”

Suddenly, all of Loki’s nerves were reduced to flustered movement and a soft blush on his cheeks. “Oh shut up. He’s you’re uncle, he’s here to support you, not me. I don’t have anyone in the audience for me. Which, is good considering I’m going to throw up everywhere.”  

“Thanks for the heads up, I’ll make sure to grab a seat in the back.” She winked, but then her face became more serious, something Loki wasn’t used to. “You’re going to be the best damn valedictorian this school has ever seen, you started with no one rooting for you, and that’s what pushed you. Prove to them you still don’t, prove them how much of a badass you are.”

“ _Natasha.”_ He scolded. He hated her bad mouth.

“Good luck.” The girl nodded and leaned up to peck him on the cheek.

As soon as she hurried off, he heard the band begin up, the usual pomp and circumstance. Then, the door opened on the far end and all the professors and the dean stepped out and began to walk up onto the stage. All giving Loki a pat on the shoulder as he waited for them to call for him.  

_

 

Sitting with his legs crossed Tony couldn’t help but feel the nerves creep into his entire being. What was going to happen? What if he figured him out? What would he do exactly? Out of nerves his leg bounced. One of his relatives, who was seated next to him, placed a hand on his knee and smiled.

“What are you so nervous about? The kids are the ones graduating.”

Tony took the tease with a pleasant smile, but continued to inwardly freak. Why had he chosen to do this? He’d have to sit through this whole ceremony…oh it was torture.

Suddenly, the students were seated and then there were people on the stage. It had started. Thank god.

_

_Why do I feel like I’m flying?_

Loki couldn’t seem to wrap his brain around any of this. It was all so…so out of a fairy tale book.

The boy just wanted somebody to wake him at last. For he felt like he was standing right on the edge of the wide, wide world and though it was extremely terrifying, it was also exhilarating. As he walked across the stage to give his speech, he looked at so many faces. He was in a place he never dreamed he would be.

Yet, there was one empty chair…that Loki simply can’t bear to see. Now, he was fighting back, fighting back the tears on his graduation day.

As the boy finished his speech, the class erupted in a roar. Then, he simply left the stage to join the rest of his class, so that they could walk across the stage. As he waited for his name to be called, and walked across the stage, he couldn’t argue, it was still rather amazing, summa cum laude and all that he was able to achieve _._

Yet, he found, as he flipped his tassel to the other side, and watch a rainfall of graduation caps. That, none of his achievements meant a thing, if his daddy wasn’t there _._ And there he was again, fighting back, fighting back the tears on graduation day.

_

_I’m here Loki._

Tony wanted to scream as he watched the boy walk across the stage and look out at the audience. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs.

_I’m standing in front of you now!_

_Daddy is here._ I’m _here Loki!_

Yet, he had to restrain himself, for his family was right there and knew nothing about Daddy or what he was really spending his money on. Yes, Loki was worth it, but as far as tony knew, Daddy was no more. He vowed just as Loki to stop telling lies. Starting with Daddy.

_I just look like a person you know._

Tony didn’t take his eyes off of Loki. He was fearful he’d loose him in the pool of various gowns and caps. However, Loki’s cords pulled the focus. When Loki took the stage again to congratulate his class on graduating, and to move the tassel, Tony was overfilled with joy. He’d never been happier to see someone happy in his whole life. And also, crushed that he couldn’t make him happy with revealing who Daddy was.  

So, there he was, fighting back the tears, yes, fighting back the tears on graduation day _._

___

As Loki stepped off from the stage and all of his classmates were running every which way, he began to think to himself. Thinking of how he’d tell Daddy off. Natasha was right. Loki had never had anyone in his corner, no one ever fighting for him. So, why had he been so foolish as to believe some old man would start? Loki began to rationalize, writing the letter in his head _._

_Well this is your lost, dear “Mr. Smith”!_

 

Tony wanted to pace. Him and the rest of his family, were awaiting out in the lobby area so they could see and greet all of the graduates. Natasha had already made it to them, and Tony was antsy that they’d try to leave without seeing Loki. The male had his hands stuffed in his pockets and he was chewing on his lip, willing the boy to come.

  _Well here I am, right before your eyes, I’m right here Loki._

As Loki made his way through the building, out to the lobby where Natasha was no doubt waiting for him, he began to fume. His stride became stiffer, and his posture was refined. He was bigger than anything before. He didn’t need anyone rooting for him!

_…or whatever you’re called, you did not show. You are not here and I was fighting back the tears the entire ceremony. I hope you’re happy. Or maybe you don’t care. Good. It doesn’t matter what you say or what you do, I’ll be breaking through my fears. I’ll stand out through the crowd and most definitely make somebody proud. Somebody that’s not you._

 

_I’m here Loki, I’m…._

As Tony turned on his heel, he spotted Loki walking up and Natasha running over to hug him tightly. He smiled at the scene. Glad that there Paris incident hadn’t derailed their friendship. Then, before Tony could step forward to approach them, Natasha was pulling Loki towards him. Natasha smiled, let go of Loki’s hand and walked off.

“You’re welcome.”

 Tony just shook his head. “Sorry about her…”

“Oh, I’m used to it.” Loki sighed.

“Yes, I can see as to why.” He mused. “Anyways, congratulations, Loki really. Natasha told me you didn’t have anyone here for you today.”

Loki’s eyes darted down. “Oh, no…all too busy I guess. But thank you.”

“That’s quiet alright.” He shrugged. “Natasha had enough family here to spare.”

“Still…” Loki shook his head. “It’s really no big deal.”

“Well, Loki, for me it is.” Tony began to smile. “In fact, Loki…I’d like to offer you a position _in_ the family.”

Tony watched as Loki’s brow furrowed. Then, in a swift motion, Tony knelt down to his knee and took a hold of his hand.

“Loki, I want to you to be left alone ever again. So…” He pulled his hand from his pocket and revealed a ring. “Will you do me the incredible honor of marrying me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1210 HITS OH MY GOD. My mind is so blown away. AND this is chapter 15!! WHAT. I hope this satisfies your frostiron desires and I'll continue and try to post more frequently. My classes are getting pretty demanding, so I'm trying to be a good student while also a good author, cause graduation before authorization - AM I RIGHT?


	16. Someone Less

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a quick note from Loki

_Dear to whom it may concern,_

 

_I have torn you from my heart._

_I have stripped myself of any pointless expectations, that you will ever change your ways._

_I have torn you from my life. I have washed my hands of ever, hoping you will be there, when I most need a friend, but you’ll never be there daddy. On that, I can depend._

_I have torn you from my soul, you have hurt me for the last time and I won’t go on bleeding. You’ll never hear another plea, yes you’ve got your freedom daddy, but you don’t have me. I too am free._

_I too, am free._

_Loki Laufeyson_


	17. I'm A Beast

Tears had already been streaming down Tony’s cheeks. His hand shaking as he read the stupid letter. He’d seen the note. Knew exactly what the note was, who it was from, yet he still decided to open it. How foolish of him. He was going to crinkle the letter and envelope up, when he saw another letter inside.

_Dear to whom it may concern,_

_That, was my first letter to you. The first words my mind could wrap around to tell you just how much you hurt me and betrayed my trust. I wrote It immediately after graduation. After faking a smile, the entire ceremony, and praying that my eyes wouldn’t wonder over to the empty seat that burned into the back of my skull. After I was left alone, walked across the stage alone. After I was humiliated._

_Get the point?_

_Yet I don’t think that letting you go is that easy. We’re connected, this is true. I’m a kind and honest man, or at least I would like to think that’s who I was before you entered my life. I’m going to be honest, let you know what is going on with me right now. After all I’m still in debt to you, and a promise is a promise. Here’s your letter, the last no doubt._

_Onto the news._

_Anthony Proposed._

_I said no._

_Anyways._

_You’ll be happy to know that I submitted my book to an agency to be published._

_You’ll be disappointed to know that it was rejected. They sent back my copy with a list of complaints. One stating that it was simply “Sophomoric”._

_So I burned it._

_I burned the book I sent in, the copies I made to give to friends, and all the journals and note books that I wrote in before. I even went and visited the old orphanage, and I gave them the typewriter. Donated some of the money I’d earned up from working on campus. I told Mrs. Rippit to use it for new blankets, clothes. The kids were excited to see me, the ones still there. I was surprised to see mostly younger kids. Who, later informed me that a lot of wealthy couples have seemed to be stopping in and taking the older kids, sometimes even both. Apparently one couple adopted five of them, and Mrs. Rippit was expecting another couple to return in a month or so._

_Tell me, you wouldn’t have had anything to do with that…would you?_

_You know, I don’t care. At least they aren’t stuck in that awful place anymore. However, it seems, without that place. I wouldn’t be the me I am today. So, I left myself one notebook. To write in. To you, to Anthony. He deserves answers too. And to start a new book. It’ll be all about the orphanage. All about the kids, Mrs. Rippit, me…and you. All names, changed of course._

_I have a good feeling about this._

_Sincerely,_

_Loki Laufeyson_

 

Quickly, the letter dropped from Tony’s hand and he reached for a pen and paper. The words began to flow honestly and naturally. He was not going to tell lies. He was too heartbroken to deal with anymore crazy lies.

_I’m a beast. I’m a disappointment. I’ve earned your contempt. I was rash, I was wrong. Oh Loki, I’m no good at being strong. So many times, I’ve wanted to tell you. But I lost my nerve. Now I feel your scorn and frustration, it’s a bitter blow. I well deserve_

_I’m a beast._

_I was over zealous, guess I have a jealous heart. I was daft, I was blind. But Loki, I never meant to be unkind._

Tony sniffed yet again as he lifted his head up from his desk. Dropping the pen, he began to shake his head. What was the point in sending him a letter when he was so upset with him? He crumbled, his face falling into his hands as his elbows propped him up. Tears were still falling, pouring from his eyes.

_Oh Loki, I was so, so wrong._

 

**___ **

 

_Dear to whom it may concern,_

_It’s been a few months. I’m not even sure if this address is still accepting letters or, or if this will even fall into the right hands. However, I hope, if this does, it finds you well._

_I said that I wouldn’t write to you anymore. I lied. You know I can’t resist letting you in on my life. That being said, I am writing to let you know that my book has been published. Along with this letter you’ll find a check. $1000, for you. A first in the many instalments of my debt of college to you. Now don’t think of sending this back to me, please. I don’t want it. It’s yours._

_I’m staying with the Barton’s, in Lock Willow. Looks like you were right. It’s a very beautiful place for inspiration. I point protagonist in one direction, and see which way she goes. It’s painful, to see the mountains and be reminded of Anthony. It really is. Yet, I use that to inspire me as well. There’s something out there someone once said, about true emotions form true art. Something like that anyways. The Barton’s are happy to have me back, I gave them money too. Told them to spend it on one another. They’re such a happy couple, it gives me hope._

_I’ve heard from Natasha. You’ll never guess what she’s up to._

_Her job is to go around to orphanages, make sure they’re up to code, make sure the kids are being well taken care of. It’s truly amazing to know she’s doing so much good. Anthony must be so proud._

_I hope you’re proud of me daddy. I really do. It’s okay if you’re not, I think I’ve got enough pride in myself for the both of us. After all, you’ve always been the one to make me never give up, though it seems I’ve given you up_

_I hope you’re well._

_Loki Laufeyson_

 

 

Clutching the check in his hand, Tony brought it up to his chest. Inhaling sharply the male shook his head. Something had to be done. Something had to give. Pushing away from his desk, the male ran to his room, and quickly began to pack, but not before digging out the ring box. He kissed it in a rush of excitement. This time. This time I would work, he was sure of it. Throwing clothes into a bag, and other various things in a tornado speed, the male quickly tossed on his jacket and made his way to the front door. His hurried state, made Jarvis jump.

“Sir?”

“Lock willow” He spat.

“Sir are….”

“Now!” Tony barked. “Come on, he’s there, I need to get there, now!”

Jarvis gave a smile with a nod. “Of course, Sir.”

 

Four hours later, the town car was driving down the dusty road to the quant little farm. Taking a deep breath, Tony waited for the car to come to a stop. It stopped right in front of the main house. They were idle for probably five minutes before Jarvis turned his head.

“Sir?”

Tony shook his head. “I know…I know.”

“Go, go and get him.” His driver spoke up. “Go in there and don’t let him give you no for an answer.”

Tony’s eyes moved from the house to the man in front of him. He laughed as he smiled. “Thank you Jarv.”  

 

**_**

 

Dearest Daddy,

I left Lock Willow just short of writing you my letter. I didn’t feel like the Barton’s should put up with me for long. I used some of my money to get my own place. It’s small, quant. At first it was so exciting to have my own place. No sharing clothes, no fighting for the bathroom, all mine. Yet, it seemed to ware off quickly. My small place became suffocating, and I missed having another body around.

I’m so lonely.

I’m so frightened.

I have so many fears. I have so many doubts.

Like him. It took me a long time to figure it out. Yet, I know now. I spent so long avoiding it, him, because daddy, I’m in love with Anthony. Jeez, I’m so foolish to have said no. He’ll probably never take me back after what I did to him.

I’m asking this because I simply don’t think that I can take the loneliness any longer, and it seems you’re the only friend I’ve ever had.

Won’t you please meet me daddy?

Hoping to still be sincerely yours,

Loki

**_**

 

 

Anthony had been going through his days in autopilot. He didn’t feel, he didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat. He was in such a depressive rut. Then, as he was sitting in his study, trying to focus on business that needed his attention, except he just ended up holding the ring in his hand. His eyes were stinging as he studied it, willed it to explain just why Loki said no, why he wasn’t at Lock Willow. Jarvis interrupted.

He stepped into the room after knocking lightly on the doorframe. “Sir?”

Tony looked up, his eyes shiny with tears, he shrugged.

“I…I’ve had this for a few days now. I, I didn’t think that you were ready to have it just yet.” His servant began. “I opened it, just in case. I honestly am afraid you’ll hurt yourself sir, I kept it from you to protect you. But after reading it, I really think you should have it.”

Tony watched the male, his face a blank slate. However, when he spotted the white envelope in the Jarvis’s hand his eyes grew. “Give it to me.”

Jarvis nodded and stepped further into the room, to place the letter on the desk. Waiting for Tony to read it.

_Dear Mr, Laufeyson._

_It has come to my attention that you would like to meet. I’d be more than happy to. I’ll have my secretary send you my address in the following days. Respond letting me know,_

_Loki, when shall we meet?_

_Still, your,_

_Daddy “Smith” Long Legs_

 


	18. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its do or die. Meet or flee. Will Tony stick around to reveal his real identity or will Loki be pained once more by daddy's deceit?

1129…1130…1131…1132…

“Here!” Loki squeaked.

Jarvis had already begun to press the break but they ended up jerking slightly due to Loki’s outburst. “Yes…” He recovered. “We’re here, you’re here…he’s here.”

Taking a deep breath, Loki looked at the tall building in front of him. It was lavish to say the least. Of course Daddy would live in a place like this.

“Sir?”

Loki’s brow raised. He’d never been addressed by sir before.

“Jarvis, it’s Loki…I told you.”

The male laughed. “Just doing my job.” He looked at him through the rearview mirror. “Which, if I’m not mistaken is to drop you off, but that’s a little challenging when you won’t leave the car.”

Closing is eyes, Loki shook his head. “I’m just…I’m preparing myself.”

After a moment, his eyes fluttered open and he sighed. His hand reached for the door handle, but he paused as Jarvis spoke up.

“Good luck.”

“Thank you Jarvis.” He smiled, the driver’s words encouraging him to finally leave the car. He shut the door before Jarvis finished.

“Go and get him.”

_

 

Stepping inside the building, made all of the prep he did in the car, disappear. The place was even more beautiful on the inside than the out. Immediately he felt so out of place, as if everyone in there could see a big floating sign above his head that spelled out ORPHAN in big flashing lights.

Yet, his legs seem to move him forward, making his way closer to the front desk, where he politely asked how he’d get to the penthouse. After getting the proper help, Loki went from the desk to the nearest elevator and began his accent.

 

Tony Stark was completely beside himself. He physically couldn’t do anything because his mind was racing with unforgiving and disastrous scenarios. Tapping his fingers on the desk top kept his nerves at bay for the moment. His eyes darted around the study, seeing all the imperfections all at once. Had Pepper really kept things that well organized in his life? Was Tony’s life always going to need to be managed? Was he always going to have the void in his chest, only that ever felt filled after an act of philanthropy?

What was Tony’s life, and why had he thought to drag Loki into all of it? Why ruin something so perfect.

Pushing off of his desk, the male went behind it, towards the small closet that kept his jacket. He’d have to leave the house, now, so as to not run into Loki when he showed up. He’d find an empty house, believe possibly that Daddy stood him up, disappointed once more, and finally get closure. In his pursuit of jumbled thoughts, Tony found himself forgetting his stationary. If he was going to bail, he’d at least write Loki a letter, a parting gift. Tie up the loose ends. He returned to his desk and grabbed for the papers, his back turned on the door, his fingers running through the pages, counting. Yet, a familiar voice, an eager voice, that both brightened and shattered Tony’s heart caught his attention. 

“Hello?”

There was a pause, only the sound of papers as Tony froze. He was too late; Loki was already here.

“Okay…” He began. “I’m hoping you could tell me, I’m here to meet Mr. Smith. Are you his son by chance?”

Tony still didn’t move, mustering the courage to just turn around and face the boy. He was a frozen statue. Suddenly, as if his body was moving before his brain registered it, he had managed to turn and face Loki, setting the papers on the desk.

“Hello, Loki.”                       

“Anthony?” The male was breathless. “Why, what are you doing in here?” There wasn’t much of a pause for him to answer, as he continued on. “I know you and Mr. Smith shared the connection of Lock Willow, but I didn’t imagine that you two were friends.”

“Loki, no. We’re not friends.”

“Oh? Then…you must be his son. Or relative?” His brow was raised, eagerness still sparkling in his eyes. “Oh, please, you must help me meet him. Where is? Is he out in the garden? Or possibly taking a nap?”

“I am not his son either…” Tony spoke slowly, hoping that he’d lessen the blow, if Loki could put the pieces together himself.

After a moment of silence, Tony watched as Loki’s face began to change, knowing that finally it had clicked with him. Waiting as his face contorted, Tony was ready to face the crushing blow.

 Yet, Loki didn’t yell.

 

Loki hadn’t really put much thought into why he was face to face with Anthony when he was supposed to be seeing Daddy. As they played their guessing game, Loki’s brain was slow to kick into gear that the possibility of Anthony knowing all along of his situation. Which, mortified him. At the thought, Loki’s brow furrowed and he frowned. How could Anthony have betrayed him so?

“You’re not…no, you couldn’t…you’re not…” He fumbled with his words. “His s _ecretary?!”_

Loki simply couldn’t begin to imagine all the things Tony read about himself that Loki had thought was confidential. “If you are, that means you….” He shook his head, pointing to the letters. “And you know that…” Shaking his head. “Oh, no…nooo, no, no.”

Tony put his hands up stop the boy. “No.” He shook his head. “I’m not a secretary.”

The two men looked at each other, Loki’s face blank, now faced with even more questions. However, as he watched Tony raise his brow slightly, did he get yet another idea. As Loki’s brain tried to connect the dots, they fell into a silence. While cogs turned in Loki’s head, his facial expressions revealing a curved brow, confusion reading all over.

“Then, you must know Dadd- I mean, Mr. Smith.” Biting at his lip. “You were connected to Lock Willow…so you _must_ know him. Have, I already met him and he’s kept himself a secret this whole time?” 

“No.” Tony sighed, then paused to prep the courage he spent hours on building, to will the words out of his mouth. “Loki, I am daddy.”

The philanthropist had to fight back the urge to scrunch his eyes, block his face, just waiting for the lash out. Except, Tony didn’t read anger on the male’s face, but more confusion. 

Loki’s brain couldn’t even receive the information it was slammed with. His head continued to shake negatively. “But you’re not old!”

Tony couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at his outburst. He could tell that it was the only thing that made sense in his head. Nodding slowly, Tony disagreed.

“No. I’m not old. I’m the same age as you in fact.”

He watched as the male began to process what he’d just heard. “So…so you lied to me?” His brow furrowing once more, anger reading from it. “You lied to me this whole time, while _you_ read _my_ letters to _Daddy_?” Looking up and locking eyes, Loki raised his voice. “I hate you!”

“Loki, please, please.” Tony raised his hand. “Please do not be upset.”

After a moment of silence, of which Tony could tell Loki was trying to keep his cool.

“All the clues were there…”

 Loki began, just when Tony was sure that he wouldn’t say another word.

“They were always there, right there, right before my eyes. How could I be so surprised? And yet, it appears, I never knew, all this time…daddy has been you.” He peered into Tony’s eyes. “How was I so…so blind? That I could never see, you were always here with me. And yet, it appears, I never knew. All this time…. daddy, has been _you_.”

Loki began to move through the study, looking at the room he’d imagined a long time ago in his head. This exact space was just where she imagined Daddy would sit and read his letters, where he’d sit and do work. And he felt an incredible ball of betrayal fester in his gut. So he spoke up once more, not letting Tony get in a word.

“Yet you lied and betrayed my trust. And you made me appear so foolish. Though it seems I’m the last to know…” Loki had made his way around the tall bookshelf walls, and near where all of his letters were tacked to one. Letting his fingers run over them, he sighed. “I’d be a fool to let you go.”

Tony bit deep into his inner cheek, would he really forgive him for this? Would he let him be, just him, not daddy?

While Tony was in his own head, Loki had made his way around the desk, and leaned on the front of it. Looking over at Tony. “Life may not last long. And hearts might not play fair. But a love like ours is rare. And what I thought impossible, is true. All this time, I’ve been in love with you.”

Being aware of Loki’s presence near him, made Tony sweat just a little. He didn’t let himself make eye contact in fear that he’d reject him, or it’d be too painful to see the pain in Loki’s eyes. Yet, the last words struck Tony and as his heart fluttered, he couldn’t help but raise his head and lock eyes.

“And it seems as I say these words…” Loki began.

Tony stepped closer and nodded. “It feels as if you’re writing your first love letter?”

Seeing happiness spread over his face, made Tony’s face respond accordingly. He watched, waited as Loki nodded in response.

“Yes and…it surprises me now. It makes me laugh that I even know how.” Only breaking their locked eyes for a moment to sigh, Loki’s words grew heavy. “So, with all my heart, just… _racing_ as it sores.” A wide grin began to form on his lips. “I am most sincerely yours, Loki, who will keep her Tony strong.”

Tony watched as his head lifted and met with his eyes again.

“And forgives his daddy long legs, for not being, old…”

“Or gray.”

“Or bald…”

The two shared a laugh,

“and…” Tony raised his brow.

Sighing, Loki smiled playfully hitting the male’s chest. “And for hiding from him, so long.”

In a moment of pure joy and love, the two men had closed the space between them and shared a kiss they had both been longing for.

Tony broke away and smiled. “Good, because I’m completely, hopelessly and madly in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you all for reading this crazy story. Honestly, I can say that I didn't even believe that this would get past at least four chapters. Be it, that no one would read it or that I'd be too busy to post frequently. Yet, here we are! 18 chapters in and you are all so amazingly supportive and clinging to every chapter. Thank you. Thank you. I'm not sure if this is the end for these two just yet. I know that it won't be soon that I'll update, but I'm not done with these two lovely characters. I hope you enjoyed. (again) Thanks from the bottom of my heart for being such fantastic readers. I love this story, I love these aus of Tony and Loki, and I love you all. THANK YOU. <3


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